~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]Leviathansplunge 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't buy into the whole thing where opinions are permanent, friendzone is permanent, etc..., it is entirely possible to change how a woman sees u by making fast and drastic changes to yourself and your life, if u kill the old u and become a new person, new and often better opinions about u will form. I went from getting nothing the first half of high-school to getting more ass then a toilet seat by losing half my body weight, being engaged in sports, got tattoos, being more open/funny/sarcastic, and selling drugs. I don't nessecarily recommend that last thing.
[–]ManicPixieDreamSloot 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Good guys are generally nice guys. What's the alternative? Being a helpful asshole, maybe? Lol dont do that. Hopefully you're already at least kind of funny...
If you want to graduate from "nice", your next positive step would be "useful" or "interesting".
Useful is way easier to achieve - but it does require more attention to detail and active listening, as well as being generally resourceful (i.e. being able to come up with solutions out of skills or items or insight you already possess or are readily accessible)
If she vocalizes a problem - a small, fixable problem - try to fix it.
Learn how to fix it on your own and then come to her with a solution, if you must
Ultimately i dont know why you wouldnt want to be a nice guy - most guys are NOT nice guys. You get way more points for being nice than you might think.
[–]long_tongued 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i think what you say does make sense, but what i mean when i say nice is that i am too useful, i’m always there to help people, sometimes going over my way to help people, i take up extra work to get other some time to relax, i think this is just a way of showing how strong or durable or reliable i am, and i am happy doing all of this, but i think me being so available is acting as a thorn in my way
[–]ManicPixieDreamSloot 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I often try to make myself indispensable when I'm seeking some kind of validation or affirmation that i do, in fact, belong where i am.
Be careful taking on too much, as burnout is a real thing and you should also exercise self-care and boundaries.
You cant fill other's buckets if your own is empty.
Be sure you ask others for help and also are exercising your right to say "no" if people are asking too much.
There has to be give/take in relationships - all sorts of relationships. Professional, personal, etc.
Maybe instead of being useful, you could let this girl apply herself someone and let her feel "useful"?
Example: In college, i would sometimes ask professors/classmates (in group discussions) complex questions i already knew the answer to so that after they responded i knew for certain i could follow up with an insight or something to contribute (another question/conclusion/observation)...the point of this was usually to either (1) get my classmates to actually participate in group discussions so that the hour to three hour class wasnt dreadfully boring (2) make sure i got participation credit for the course.
So, using this same tactic....is there some way you could solicit this girls interests or special skills or hobbies or whatever and maybe take up a bit of her time? Not too much, and nothing too painstaking or resource-heavy....just something that allows her to play to her own strengths of character or career. but if she goes along with it, you'll know she's either (1) interested OR (2) Also a "nice" person or, ideally, (3) BOTH
[–]Intelligent_Kiwi92 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
One advice be your authentic self. Never sacrifice your happiness for anyone.
[–]long_tongued 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i’m not saying that i won’t be happy that way. i just feel i’m too nice
[–]excentrik-art 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Only way is to make her change it without trying. That means you must make her see you naturaly act the way you want to be seen with different girl
i do understand that but i think something like this is very easy to be thought of and said but i can’t think of a way to do this
[–]excentrik-art 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well I would organise an event/party/board gaming night, where I would invite some people and also another girl I fancy, and there I would give most of my attention to the another girl
[–]Candid_Low_926 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Learn to be thoughtful and assertive.
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why? Seriously... There are literally millions of wonderful women in this country that haven't already written you off. Why are you so focused on this one woman that has already decided that she doesn't want to date you?
Hint: It's probably because you've convinced yourself that she's your best chance at happiness. That's a scarcity mindset and it's very unhealthy. You'll be much happier in the long run if you focus your efforts on the big picture.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]Leviathansplunge 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ManicPixieDreamSloot 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]long_tongued 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ManicPixieDreamSloot 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Intelligent_Kiwi92 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]long_tongued 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]excentrik-art 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]long_tongued 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]excentrik-art 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candid_Low_926 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link