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[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s basically roasting her but not in a mean way, more in like a light hearted way.
[–]vardarac 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Banter is kind of improv, right? You just sort of go with the act that's being put on. In the first example you could agree with either of the guys with an obviously tongue in cheek exaggeration. "oh yeah the other day I saw her walking out of a seedy hotel and she dropped a suitcase full of cocaine" "bro jeremy you need to upgrade her from paper bags for her face, how long have you guys been married?"
Long ago I was working a shift in a clothing store. A guy is impatiently waiting for his gf/wife to come out of the changing room and she squawks at him that she'll just be a few more minutes.
Guy turns to me, says loudly. "Do you hear a parrot?" I pause for a moment while the gears turn in my head. Then, for some reason understanding something I had never understood before, I agree with him. "Yeah, we forgot to feed them today. Man, they really are loud!"
I don't remember if all that much happened after but the point is continuing the flow and energy of the conversation; imagine some stiff polite dude sniffing "i do not know what you are talking about sir" and do the exact opposite of that.
Now, there's a reason negging is widely looked at as bad outside of Seddit, and I think it's a good reason: If you're saying something specifically to try and get under someone's skin, pick at their insecurities, very often you will come off as an asshole. Because you are being one.
You might not intend that, but people you don't know (and sometimes even those you do) can definitely receive it that way. You are right to make sure that she is into it first and knows 100% that you're joking; it's why your first example with the grandma hat worked and the second example tanked.
In my mind, what makes roasting successful is not so much the negative energy, but rather the confidence to say something fun and creative that connects you and the other person. (To a lesser extent it is also an indirect way of saying you don't feel that negative energy toward the other person, or that you do harbor those feelings but like them anyway.)
It definitely isn't the only option. Instead, you can try also making compliments that compare the person to something you're both familiar with.
I told a guy who watches Dragon Ball that he had strong Jiren energy. (Dude was colossal and built, looked like he could fell a tree with one punch.) He thought that was hilarious, then said he felt more like a Vegeta, and that led to a conversation.
Obviously not the exact thread I'd use with most women, but the formula is easy to change up. Make comparisons between them and things that they find familiar; they can be good, bad, or indifferent, but if they're the latter make sure it's funny.
If they aren't familiar with the comparison, that's a great opener for an actual conversation; just make sure it isn't too complicated to understand.
[–]fockerjunior 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
ok i'm writing this all down in the banter notes. who said you can't learn stuff from reddit?
thanks dude. i'll try some bantering with dudes too.
definitely do not want to come off as mean so i'll probably try to just be normal at first and feel the vibe then go into banter if it permits
[–]vardarac 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah have fun man! Just remember you don't need to try when you do this, just throw it out there if it comes to mind and if you're having fun with it.
I sometimes still make the mistake of trying too hard to entertain other people when really I should just do something if I find it fun and I think they will too. It's kinda like garlic powder, you want a bit of it to make the main course (just vibing and having conversations) more interesting. You only dump the whole thing on there if you're actually eating with crazy people
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Negging isn’t a great strategy because it indicates to a woman that you’re likely to continue to do it as a way to control her. Banter is ok.
[–]fockerjunior 4 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
my definition of negging is it has to make her laugh for it to be considered negging. and not a nervous laugh a real laugh.
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Up to you. It’s a red flag for many women.
[–]fockerjunior 4 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
i just want to break out of my timid shell and be funnier mostly. i'm typically a very serious and brooding person. i don't only neg I still use compliments sometimes and be direct other times.
even just approaching and trying to enjoy the process is a big win for me.
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You could try some self-deprecating humor.
maybe FDS is the right sub for you because you seem to like giving bad advice
just trying to banter btw. text banter is tough need to add a smiley emoji or some shit
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You do you
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[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vardarac 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]fockerjunior [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]vardarac 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]fockerjunior [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]fockerjunior [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]fockerjunior [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RobertChardonnay 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link