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Moikepdx · 2021-10-18T21:52:50+00:00

This isn't a bad result. The point is that you are overcoming your approach anxiety. The best way to do that is through repetition.

I once dated a girl who had severe social anxiety. I encouraged her to get a job as a waitress, so that she would constantly be interacting with strangers, and talking to them would become natural. It worked wonders for her.

Based on your description, I would advise you to talk to men as well as women. Learn to be friendly, and learn to notice cues that the conversation is wanted. This will help when you approach women. You may benefit from some light coaching too. If someone was there to observe they could tell you if you made small mistakes. For instance, it's possible that you approached well, made your opening well, but then paused for long enough that the interaction appeared to be over or was getting awkward, resulting in them moving on.

One thing to try is more open-ended questions. If you ask a "yes" or "no" question it's pretty natural to end the conversation with a single word. If you ask, "How can I find...?" You get a more robust response, with opportunity to ask follow up questions. "Do you live here? I'm visiting for a while - what are some things I should see?" This can even turn into "Can you show me [place]?"

As for women you are not interested in developing feelings... you seem to be a long way from that. You're still in the stage of learning to have a conversation of more than one word. People are allowed to seek out friends, and have no obligation to show romantic interest even if they approached you first.

The point of approaching a lot of girls is that you have two options at this point: 1) Fail slowly and take a lot of time learning; or 2) Fail quickly and make progress faster.

You can choose to draw out the timeline, but you will be learning from your experience based on your approaches. You don't get better at sports by spending 30 seconds per day practicing. The same is true here.

If you are concerned about imposing on people (and you should be somewhat concerned about this), find a reason why you can't stay and talk for long. Let them know when you approach that you only have a couple minutes for whatever reason. This lets them know that talking to you won't mean a long commitment (monopolizing their time), and if things go well in the interaction it's a reason why you would need to ask for a phone number.

Hmmoklolthisisfine · 2021-10-18T21:50:37+00:00

Talk to as many people as possible. Men and women. No one is going to develop feelings for you over a short encounter like that. It takes time to really get a woman to develop strong feelings for you.

Anyways good job. Get back out there and try again tomorrow.

NoInspection9021 · 2021-10-19T05:47:48+00:00

Don't try to be a slut with what I told you. It is the most simple easy way to be real. Unless you just wanna talk or play video games with them. Then say that...be real. You see a beautiful girl, just tell her.. it will blow her away. Most guys are soft and think she is so stunning she probably has a hold folder of guys numbers. In reality the more beautiful ones make most nice guys doubt their worth. Nobody talks to them cause they are so much a 10.. All that can happen is yes or no. Keep moving forward, you can't change the past and fuck what people think. Stay Positive all the time. Tell a pretty lady she is beautiful will make her smile if ur being real. Please don't let your first piece of ass mind fuck you. All women have same parts. Stay hard-core and tighten up. Cause when you score that Queen all other Alpha males will try you and her. Defend yourself and her dignity. Respect is earned not given 💯👌

nortrebyc · 2021-10-19T10:55:35+00:00

Try social exercises. Baby steps.

Set goals to talk to x people when you go somewhere. Doesn’t even have to be flirty or going for numbers.

Go somewhere that no one recognizes you and be goofy in public. I used to walk through neighborhoods and wave my hands around, spin, skip, dance, whatever.

EU-Howdie · 2021-10-19T13:57:51+00:00

Well done, the start is made. Two on your first practice day is certainly not bad at all, and shows already courage and communication skills. We understand and agree it is hard to approach and talk with women (or men) with earpods. But, give yourself a little present for what you managed already on this first day, maybe a cappucino.

Tip ... go and approach women who can not walk away. Like waitress or saleslady in men cloth shop. Maybe you say you look for a nice belt for the jeans you are wearing, a belt that really updates that jeans and too, you. Say it like this and smile saying this. Humor is always a good thing, and making a little joke about yourselves shows humor and self confidence. Maybe you say smiling, like a joke, I search a belt that let me look much more like an alpha man. You make yourself vunnerable. You give her an opportunity. Maybe she say ... more alpha man, that will be very difficult for you. LOL. That is humor too, so laugh loud about her funny and witty reply. She will enjoy that her funny remark gets such a positive reaction from you and you are already sympathique what gives you the possibility to (suggestion) ask her what time she has a break and if she likes to drink a cappucino with you there in that mall. Too, you will always have the chance to find her back, there in that store. But ... do not become creepy, when you feel you do not match, she does not response in a positive way to you, let it be.

And when you propose something always start with ... give her the right to choose where and when (to have a coffee or drink or ice. Or when you propose a place always propose a very public place. So she feel safe. Remember and realise at that moment you are (STILL) a stranger. It is very important that YOU make it easy for her to say yes to your first proposal.

2021-10-19T20:34:40+00:00

You did great. You were not desperate. You didn’t need to be a desperate jerk and approach loads of girls. You went up to 2 over came you fear and know you can do it in future, so now you only need to approach the girls you like! You said good about not going for girls you don’t like or annoying strangers. Just go for the ones you like. Be the cool calm guy, don’t be desparate and just go for numbers. You did great and doing great #dontbethatguy

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	28
Comments	7
Date	October 18, 2021 9:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qawffb/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1274050 https://theredarchive.com/post/1274050

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