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[–]STD_Tyler 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Bro start with small steps, you don't have to do a full approach at the beginning of your session. Just approach a girl and tell her "Nice Jacket", just like what your wing had done today and then it became easier for him. :DDDD
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your user name made me giggle. Pure gold.
[–]STD_Tyler 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
haha. msg me on Instagram if you wanna go out. I have been in your position before,first 6 months of cold approach to get my first date with average chick. Just keep pushing bro, you will eventually make it if you don't give up...
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
aha. msg me on Instagram if you wanna go out. I have been in your position before,first 6 months of cold approach to get my first date with average chick. Just keep pushing bro, you will eventually make it if you don't give up...
yeah I just need to stop whining I'll be allright I guess I just needed to vent. where abouts are you located bro?
[–]STD_Tyler 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol, have you read my first reply? read it again carefully...
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sorry my bro, I think I lost you.
[–]StephenDawg 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Women can come to you if you work on practicing attractive qualities. This sht has happened to me while eating, for fck sake - and I'm not Henry Cavill.
I actually find meeting women can be easier for me when I'm alone. Learn how to look comfortable with what you're doing. If you have a sense of style, appear relaxed and comfortable, and have decent proportions you should at the very least be getting IOIs. If you're not, reevaluate.
I get IOIs. "Women can come to you" is a very misleading statement. Unless you know how to take action and notice the right opportunities it will be useless. All the IOIs in the world won't mean anything if one doesn't know how to spot them or doesn't know how to take action on them.
I think I generally get the most IOIs from like girls that are with their boyfriends walking. I think it's cause they know they're protected so they express themselves that way. It's also a way to test the guy. Usually if I look back and sense the guy getting anxious I know for a fact that the couple is unhappy or won't last long. Alternatively if I sense the guy unaffected I realise they're a happy couple.. but anyhow I'm rambling.
[–]StephenDawg 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't disagree that getting IOIs and acting on them are two different things. But I bring it up because if you're getting them you're already ahead of a lot of guys; and because you don't sound clueless. It identifies the bridge you have to gap.
Before I got very comfortable, my first IOIs were like you described. Now they include plenty of women who are by themselves, or with other women. Maybe there's a threshold of interest or comfort that the guy has to pass. Because it started that way but is no longer like that, for me.
But I made a distinction between it and being approached because some women will approach. Some will walk over and introduce themselves. This takes your having to approach completely out of it and should even lessen your nerves. If that's all still a problem, you probably have a good idea, still, of what you should be working on.
What I mean is: I'm guessing you know what you need to work on, and this is more rant and anger than anything.
Yes it is indeed my friend. I at a low point I just need toentally overcome it, I'll be fine J just need to not give up and move forward
[–]TheDevilPutD 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You need to adjust your thinking a bit before you start going after girls.
First, check out this book The Gap and the Gain. It's free and there is audio and video attached so you understand the concept.
The basics are that most people measure their success by where they are and looking at the where they wanted to be by now. They create an idealized self that they want to be and of course they fall short and get depressed. That's why many outwardly successful people are actually very unhappy.
The reverse of this is looking at where you were and where you are now. There is always some progress. For example, back in uni you were broke. Now you have an education and you have a decent job. That's a win!
But ifnyou look it at this way (living in the gap): I have a decent job but I really should have been a doctor and driving a Porsche, you will quickly get depressed.
Try that on for size and reframe everything that you feel bad about now. Including your lack of success with women. Again, back in the day you are painfully shy, but you got over your fear and actually approached. Wow, that takes serious balls man!
I actually think I needed to hear that. I will 💯 check it out.
[–]GuyWhoGivesAwayMoney 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The reason most guys get frustrated with "Just be yourself" is because they don't really know what "just be yourself" really means. Do me this one favour. Hang out with your friends for a bit. Then Study yourself as you hang out with your friends. What's your body language like? Do you have any expectations from them? Are you seeking their approval in any way or trying to get them to pay attention to you or like you? What's your speed of conversation, timing and sense of humour like?
BE THAT!!! That is what Being YourSelf means.
NOW with that said, Add a spice of fun and flirtation to the mix. If they call you daddy, say "oh my god you're terrible" with a laugh and gently push them away. followed by "I don't know why girls are so flirtatious around me? it's like they've never met a tall handsome brown guy before. haha"
"do you guys Always treat me like a piece of meat or do you think you could like me for my charm and personality?"
Buddy, Women LOVE the exotic. When you tell them you're persian (don't say iran) and that you grew up in Italy, they will straight up Lose their MINDS. tell them "look.. here's the deal. You cook for me, and i'll teach you italian. It's as simple as that."
Then say some words and phrases in italian using the smoothest, deepest, most exotic voice imaginable. Something like..
"Ti amo. Mi sono perso nei tuoi occhi." lol
and when she asks you what it means, say.. i'll tel you once you cook for me. lol
Just joke, be flirtatious, be playful.
"Se potessi viaggiare in qualsiasi parte del mondo, dove andresti che ti toglierebbe completamente il fiato?"
;)
See I get angry at people saying "just be yourself" for different reasons. Like people say that you don't need pua and that cold approaching is cold and that if you work on yourself women will flock to you. To be quite honest I've found that to be complete bs. I've met plenty of highly successful, high value men that can't speak to women if their life depended on it. I've found that the opposite is also true, where some of the scummiest low quality people are also getting really hot women.
[–]pua_max 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s all about the opportunity to practice. That can be hard to find if you’re not already really socially strong. To break the negative cycle I recommend social hobbies. Hip hop or social dance is my personal recommendation. Doing that and meeting people through it plus cold approach will put you in a positive loop. Cheers to improvement bro.
Thanks for your kind words. I think I just need to chill out a bit and not give up.
[–]Czekraft 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd recommend having some women as friends, so you can talk to them about everyday stuff, even flirt with them without intending to have sex just so you can build up your social skills.
Hell, you can even ask your women friends advice about what type of dates they'd like to see or have them pick out clothing for you for fun.
And then while you still go after women you won't be in your head because you'll notice talking to women isn't anything different from talking to your friends.
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[–]STD_Tyler 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]STD_Tyler 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]STD_Tyler 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StephenDawg 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]StephenDawg 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheDevilPutD 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GuyWhoGivesAwayMoney 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pua_max 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Czekraft 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link