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recyclablebanthas · 2017-11-16T06:06:33+00:00

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Do I have a chance at building a social circle after college?

Yes. So much so that this question is kind of ridiculous. I personally never went through any social slump after school. If anything, it got better for me after college. I've gotten jobs, girlfriends, and flings because of the social circle stuff I've

There are so many options. Here are a few:

Hash runs. Trail running + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets. Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers.
Social partner dancing. Salsa, Tango, Lindy hop, West coast swing, etc. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. Building the core skill set for this also heightens your ability to read people, in general.
Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.
Beyond these choices, you can search for groups on FB. Or look at your Events page and see what events are suggested for you. Some of these will involve regularly meeting groups.

__2__

Of course, I also want social circles because they are a powerful tool in finding jobs.

Not only jobs. You can make connections that make your travel options richer, if you ever end up travelling. And of course, you can meet flings, and find people to enter relationships with.

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People that have felt like shit, but one day decided to do something different that caused their life to completely change for the better.

Definitely was me. Forced myself to take dance classes. Best thing I ever did. Especially partner dances, but even solo dancing like hip-hop has been good for my club experiences. I used to hate going to clubs.

Dancing basically built up my social skills, without the need to do 100 cold approaches or whatever.

Yass_King · 2017-11-16T13:59:50+00:00

Speaking as a somewhat older guy (late 30s), let me share a truth with you: it is never too late to make a positive change to yourself or your circumstances.

While never completely socially inept, I did struggle with social anxiety and self-esteem problems in adolescence and young adulthood. But through diligent, unceasing efforts to improve myself (internally and externally), I eventually became quite socially adept, even though I’ve never completely lost my somewhat introverted nature.

The other commenter’s suggestions to get involved in various activities is a good one, especially the part about learning how to dance – heed that advice. But you may also want to take public speaking courses.

The reason for this is that developing your public speaking skills gives you subsets of other skills that are invaluable in social situations and can help you make friends. For example, the ability to speak clearly and confidently (and eventually default to that mode of speaking), look people in the eye when talking, have good posture and body language, know how to cogently formulate verbal thoughts, etc.

The bottom line is you’ve got to get out there. Remind yourself every day, until you no longer need reminding, that other people don’t care a fraction as much about your mistakes and shortcomings as you do. Much of the time they won’t even notice – because they are too focused on themselves!

On that last point, use this aspect of human nature to your advantage socially. People are egocentric creatures. Learn to play to that to some degree by being genuinely curious about them, asking questions, listening. It’s fascinating but true – studies have shown that people tend to think more highly of individuals who listen well and show an interest in them. This also has the added benefit of allowing you to learn about others in ways that can enrich your understanding of people and their varied experiences, which in turn can enrich your own life.

I know this went long but I feel for you. I did share that experience to some degree, and I am 100% confident you can achieve your goals. Possibly beyond what you ever expected.

DocDaygame · 2017-11-16T11:23:52+00:00

Learn to approach people! College time is only important for AFCs. PUAs get women and friends everywhere.

Lambdal7 · 2017-11-16T16:04:12+00:00

Yes, you only need to go to events, networking events, do volunteering, han out with work colleagues, have hobbies and you'll have a social circle of 100 people.

It takes some months to build, then you have one.

DirkDieGurke · 2017-11-16T15:30:54+00:00

Dude, take a step back, look at your mindset, and realize that you're being REALLY fuckin WHINEY. It's your mindset, not your appearance, not the stage in life you find yourself in, it's just in your head.

Why? Because I'm close to 50. I just got divorced over a year ago, and found myself with no social circle, a minimal support base, and no women whatsover.

Following the principles in this sub, I fixed my appearance, got my shit together, started talking to people, and became tons more social. After a short time, using indirect game only, met a girl that was absolutely giddy around me and dated a few times (weirdo), I get invited to events and parties out of the blue. Girls in my social circle (unavailable) are super flirty. I feel good, and I thank this sub for all the advice. And I'm fucking OLD!!! You have no excuse.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	11
Date	November 16, 2017 5:09 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7da7g4/do_i_have_a_chance_at_building_a_social_circle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1436929 https://theredarchive.com/post/1436929

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