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[–]dvidalolz 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you live in LA hit me up. We will go out winging.
[–]icemanskov 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahah thx for the proposition, but I live in Montreal, in the cold, far from LA's sun.
[–]PolesWithGoals 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I just wanna know how you managed to seduce a girl into a 9 year relationship and have no idea how to do something similar with another girl
[–]BigSnips 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Long term vs. short term dating is a completely different "skill set".
Rules for dating also change over almost a decade.
Keep in mind OP was 19. It's probably safe to assume that he is reasonably good looking and sociable. I imagine it happened pretty naturally and she chose him. And this isn't a slight, the same thing happened to me.
Being dropped in to the dating scene after being in a long term relationship is shocking.
EDIT: didn't read the comments below
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
As you said, everything was natural. Plus, she was my first relation. I've had some gf before (more than 10 years ago!) but it was nothing, teenage stuff, I was more into friends, soccer, and video games. Then she poped up in my life, so I've never had the occasion to try getting girls. While my friends started going out, and experiencing what you're supposed to experience in your twenties, I was in a serious relationship. I don't even know how it works, what to say to approach a girl. I'm a full novice.
I know I can date just to have fun, I know I have to meet many girls before finding a good one, but I only know how to behave in a serious relationship, everything else feels like something pointless, a waste of time.
[–]40plus1 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Son, there are plenty materials here. Following them. If they are not working, move on until you find the right ones. Stop being a pussy. Stop moaning. I wasted the last decade to moan about my life. When I looked back, completely wasted my life.
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I don't know. It was just simple, obvious. We just really get along, and we still do. But long story short, she moved abroad, left me for that guy, and now I have to move on with my life. But I have no idea how it works.
[–]PolesWithGoals 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Moving on with your life does not require a female, important for you to know that
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I know that. But I think that it will help. And to be honest I'm doing well in general, exept with girls. After more than a year single, without any girl, exept my ex 6 month ago, when she came back, I think that it is time to date someone else.
[–]PolesWithGoals -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You just said you’re doing well in general, focus on yourself
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You're right, and it is what I've done for the last 15 months. But after so much time I start to feel lonely, and I have some needs. And it always feels good to connect with people.
[–]Kjohn1990 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're gonna have to be confident, afraid to take risks and be bold, be outcome independent and centered in your own world. Then lots of trial and error. Mostly error. Coming back into game after a long layoff can suck. Enjoy.
[–]Dilpil01 -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
She probably left you because it seems like you're in scarcity with women. You were probably a bit needy and too invested with her. Girls like honesty, etc, but they also like guys that do their own thing, are independent, could easily pick up other girls if you broke up, charismatic etc.
Time to start meeting people through social organisations and approaching people in bars and clubs. A new partner isn't going walk into your life you're going to have to make it happen. Must be proactive, take risks and meet as many girls as possible, with many rejections. It's a long road with its ups and downs, but it only starts when you really start taking risks and trying new things.
You're wrong with the first part, I am the opposite of what you describe. Girls like me, everybody at work think i'm a Don Juan, which is absolutly false. I think I might be a little bit to "respectful", so I end up like the nice guy. I struggle with the next step.
But I think you even more right for the second part. I shall try this.
Approaching people is my main weakness.
I'll try.
[–]Dilpil01 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You know your situation better than I do, but by abundance I mean more an abundance of options with girls. Not necessarily girls you're straight up sleeping with, but more sorta hanging out with, dating, flirting, seeing where things go, potential options, etc.
A social abundance is also good don't get me wrong it'll lead to opportunities meeting people.
You gotta not just be friends with girls but also flirt with them regularly. Keep things on edge, high sexual tension, play with the boundaries a bit, be a bit risky. Don't be their best mate.
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[–]dvidalolz 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]icemanskov 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PolesWithGoals 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BigSnips 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]40plus1 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]PolesWithGoals 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PolesWithGoals -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kjohn1990 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dilpil01 -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]icemanskov 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Dilpil01 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link