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[–]Ishouldbewriting83 6 years ago [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
Please don't. As a woman, if a man pulled over in his car and approached me, I'd probably run in the other direction. That's what people do when they go to kidnap you. Just roll down your window and cat call so they can respond (probably with ignoring you or a rejection because that is also awful but at least less frightening than someone pulling over and getting out of the car to try to talk to you).
[–]Designs_MK 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Thank you. I understand completely. I had no intention of jumpingout the car and approaching these girls.
I actually don’t know how to respond to this. Are you saying cat calling is my best bet and hope she reciprocates?
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
That person is being sarcastic and hinting that getting out and approaching is so bad that cat calling is the better option.
No don’t cat call. It will get you nothing. And is just plain uncomfortable and scary for some girls.
What you do is wave from your car and gesture her to come to you maybe with a smirk on your face. Like Manny in Scarface. It’s less threatening than cat calling and less threatening than getting and approaching from your car.
She’ll likely come over if you seem relaxed and she’ll stay if she finds you attractive.
[–]Ishouldbewriting83 6 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
It was sort of half-sarcasm, but sure. Indeed. I suppose a guy could smile and wave and hope a girl comes over? Better than cat calling. Honestly, that's not ideal either though. That's also a thing people do to try to kidnap you. It's advisable of people want directions from cars to shout at them and not get within 10 feet of the car. Frankly, I don't know a relaxed or good looking enough man I would make me get closer to his car to talk to him. It's all just unseemly.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ok. I mean anything anyone ever does could be thought of as “that’s what kidnappers do” .. But since the guys here aren’t trying to kidnap girls and if a girl comes over and is okay with it, it really doesn’t matter. You may not be okay with it, but several girls will be, and as long as the guy is okay with some rejection this isn’t a problem.
[–]Designs_MK 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Brizza. Thanks buddy. Such a simple yet overlooked approach. You sir, are a genius.
[–]Ishouldbewriting831 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Fair enough. It is certainly a relatively innocuous way to attempt to get a woman's attention, whether or not it is successful. Perhaps it could lead to some success. I wish the OP luck.
[–]Ishouldbewriting83 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Indeed, yes, please don't cat call. My #1 advise is just to accept it as a missed opportunity. They happen in life. It is what it is. But, if you REALLY just MUST talk to a woman because she is the girl of your dreams, try to drive ahead and park somewhere very far out of sight, then try to walk to where you think she is headed. Then, I guess try one of your openers to see if she is even interested in chatting. But, do not do this with your car near by where she sees you get out of it. Yes, that is very scary.
[–]Designs_MK 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol. Thanks for the advice. I actually think this is a terrible idea though.
Firstly, she sees me drive past with drool coming out my mouth. Proceed to drive and stop half way (or 2 blocks away). Wait for her to walk closer and then approach. This just sounds like a mugging waiting to happen.
Muggings and armed robberies are a lot more common where I’m from compared to kidnapping.
Thank you for your help , I do appreciate it. Brizza’s ideas were a lot more less creepy and direct.
[–]Hubblenobbin 6 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
/u/Ishouldbewriting83 in general seems abnormally afraid of strangers and negative about game on this sub. She's FDS, so that kinda tells you everything you need to know. Give it a shot, I doubt it'll work out poorly. I have parked and walked over to a girl on the street I saw before, she was flattered. Assume familiarity, and if someone ever seems nervous or alarmed give a statement of empathy and back off.
[–]Designs_MK 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks a lot. I have yet to approach while driving around. I will try all approaches and see which work best and learn from it. Thanks for the help.
[–]Hubblenobbin1 point 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
No prob, rock out.
That's your opinion of me. And, I have indeed posted and keep tabs on the FDS sub. There are many nice women there looking to avoid past mistakes, and seeking advice on how to do so. I'm not abnormally afraid of strangers. I'm from a big city. There is nothing wrong with being cautious and aware of your surroundings, as my father, a police officer, taught me. I credit it with being the reason I'm one of few people I know that have not been the victim of a violent crime. I've never been accused of being impolite to a stranger in public. You can be respectful of others while maintaining a safe distance. Congratulations on not scaring that one woman. Try an experiment. Try that with 30 women. See what happens. I look forward to hearing the results.
[–]Hubblenobbin 6 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Try an experiment. Try that with 30 women. See what happens. I look forward to hearing the results.
Gladly. I've approached thousands of women at this point. Unfortunately early in my pickup career I creeped girls out. These days I've gained enough skill that it basically never happens. Newbs and autists creep girls out, it's an unfortunate reality of pickup. It's amazing how much unorthodox behavior you can smooth over with the right demeanor. So my intuition says it'll be fine. We'll see. When you tell this guy that his approach will likely be seen as creepy, you actually make it more likely this guy will creep girls out. It's alright to acknowledge that possibility, but his focus should primarily be given to not half-stepping and assuming familiarity. A guy also has to compartmentalize that fear of being creepy. We call it "taking off the brakes". If you're thinking "I want to avoid creeping her out" you subtly communicate that and it will fuck up your approach.
Your posts in this sub regularly give advice that is detrimental to a pickup by experience. You give advice which make it harder for these guys to meet women. I assume you mean well, but you don't have the experience to talk authoritatively here. Being a woman gives you experience of approaches from a lot of men, but it doesn't let you manipulate the independent variables of an approach. And it's exceedingly rare to find a guy who approaches with a high degree of skill, so your sample is going to be biased towards dudes who are clumsier than these guys will be if they build the skill. There are a lot of counter-intuitive and bizarre aspects to approaching that you will likely never experience; matrix-glitch level strangeness. Like you know that strong feeling when you could SWEAR someone feels like an old friend but you've never met them? One can engineer that feeling in others. My point is that it's important to tread lightly when giving advice here, it's tempting to think "Oh it's just chasing tail, how complex could it be?", but it's a deep subject.
For every one of you who thinks your game is good, the 100 others who are trying it are creating a pattern that women pick up on. Every woman you creeped out when you were a "newb" adjusted her behavior accordingly to avoid that kind of interaction again. The independent variable isn't just your attempt. It's every man's attempt every single time. I only ever give advice against game that I think will 1) be a physical danger to someone or 2) will create a cycle where said activity is going to be overwhelmingly detrimental to long term human interactions.
Again, I look forward to the results of the experiment.
Every woman you creeped out when you were a "newb" adjusted her behavior accordingly to avoid that kind of interaction again.
And the majority of women who I have approached were flattered or had fun were better for it. On net, I've given more than I've taken. Most girls I've approached would be annoyed with you for telling me not to. I've heard on multiple occasions girls say something like "damn your game is tight!" (that quote is my favorite way I've heard it)
I only ever give advice against game that I think will 1) be a physical danger to someone or 2) will create a cycle where said activity is going to be overwhelmingly detrimental to long term human interactions.
And I'm telling you that your advice doesn't help, from experience. Players gonna play, at least let them play safe. It's not sustainable for most men to do this, and most won't because along with social norms, there's some old 'code' that makes approaching extremely difficult (which manifests in AA). But you should support drug testing at raves in the same way.
[–]TheGoldStandard35 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would not pick up girls like this. It’s weird and creepy. Nobody is gonna trust or be comfortable with this. Women want to feel safe and secure and going up to a strangers car is the opposite.
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