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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:
No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.
For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.
[–]what_aview 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Hey there, I am reaching you out because I can see a lot of fatigue, pain and distress in the words you write. Therapy could help you; it is not supposed to change you, but it could definitely help with the distress you’re perceiving. I’ve been on therapy since the last two years, and also, I am a psychologist. It’s not the way we are that “is not okay”, that it’s making us shitty people; it’s the way we look at it that makes us feeling shitty (super different from /being/ shitty, that’s important to always keep in mind). You deserve it! Good luck 🍀
[–]sockaccount12348 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the reply! I need to bring this up in therapy more but it’s been kind of a “taboo” topic for me. I really don’t like opening up about it
[–]what_aview 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Imagine you had a close friend in the same situation. What would you suggest him or her to do? I know how it feels when you have taboo topics with your therapist, I personally found helpful a couple of things I did with mine about a specific taboo topic for me: I once wrote a “letter” down, saying everything I wanted to say about it, handed it to her at the end of the session and left before she read it (I definitely would’ve handed it before, at the very start of the session), and once I only spoke about the “taboo” as “the taboo”, without mentioning it. She was capable of giving me my time to talk openly about it, I did some small steps to open up, she didn’t force me at all, I knew she was aware and ready and then I felt I could talk to her. I hope this can turn out as possible advices!
[–]sockaccount12348 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Probably the same thing you’re telling me to do. I’m in the process of finding a new therapist because my growth has stopped with my current one and I want a clean honest slate. I worry too much about what my current therapist thinks and look up to him too much as a father figure
[–]what_aview 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
OMG I wasn’t going to say it but.. after a couple of weeks my therapist told me she was pregnant and that I would’ve been assigned to another therapist (after two years with her), I saw it as an opportunity to discuss (with the new one) about some of the objectives and goals I’d like to achieve in therapy, but I wouldn’t have had the confidence I had telling her if it wasn’t for the steps I’ve previously made with the other therapist. Remember that therapy is a relationship, and discussing about the relationship you and him have is part of the process; of course it is a little painful, especially if you worry about what he thinks (remember you pay him to not judge you but to help you!), I know what it means, but talking straight always pays back!
[–]sockaccount12348 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hmm, interesting view. I LOVE my therapist now and he’s helped me tremendously. I’ve just hit a stagnant period with him and I care way too much what he thinks. Thank you so much
[–]Crazy8tyEight[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Idk how old you are but I'm 34m and I'm just realizing that this was my problem throughout my life. Our stories are the same shit different toilet. I abused stimulants in my late teens early 20s and moved to alcohol until about 2yrs ago. I've hurt so many People I've loved but constantly chased other women around and cheated. Dated multiple women at once and still hooking up with others.
Because of this I feel like I've lost the chance at the life I crave now as I'm older. Wanting to settle down and Have children. Experience life and what it has to offer. The security that a authentic relationship with an amazing person offers.
It's not easy to stop it's a real addiction the rush of that superficial validation gives. It's easy and for some reason being in a relationship makes it that much easier.
I want to leave you with one thing. Nothing compares to having the adoring validation one amazing person can give you for the potential rest of your life. Nothing compares to the hurt that losing that can bring. No amount of hook ups and drugs will bring that feeling back because it's better than that. It's real and it's out there waiting for you and when you find it never let it go.
Sorry for being all emo but I am currently dealing with the backlash of this exact problem.
I’m 27. We’re the same
[–]Agreable_Actuator84 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Totally hear you! I can be in a great relationship but always have the craving for more more! I don’t think it goes away but you can see the roots of it with a good therapist (or maybe journaling) and it becomes less compulsive. I mean you still feel the urge, but you see it rise in you and you know that getting this next women won’t put it to rest so step back and decide before acting if continuing the seduction is worth it or not.
I’m not even currently pursuing seduction that’s the thing. It just happens
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[–]what_aview 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]sockaccount12348 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]what_aview 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]sockaccount12348 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crazy8tyEight[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]Agreable_Actuator84 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sockaccount12348 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link