Depression is killing me, Need advice.

Atomic-Duck · 2017-08-19T20:11:47+00:00

Holy shit dude, the way you feel, and your story, is such an exact mirror of my own experience with women.

You are not alone in feelings this way. I've been on dates, and approaching women and asking them out is not really a problem.

Like you,i beat myself up endlessly about mistakes i make; because truth be told - it's practically always my fault.

I too overthink and put to much into tiny gestures.

crazy99boi · 2017-08-19T19:43:22+00:00

Stop watching porn and masterbating. Start being active and eating better.

Lambdal7 · 2017-08-19T19:11:47+00:00

The fewest in this sub had much success with women when they were 19. You are REALLY young.

For that reason I need to ask, are you doing the numbers? As in, have you approached 300 women over the last month, have you spent a lot of energy on building your social circle, are you going hard on Tinder with high quality pics?

If you aren't doing all of those 3 things, I have to tell you, you have no right to complain about your lack of success. You haven't put in the work.

So, you have a lot of work ahead of you. Put in the work, put in the years of work, go get a degree, go get over your fears and reap the rewards in your mid 20s.

Go get 'em.

Gondakk · 2017-08-19T18:46:24+00:00

I'm really not one to speak on behalf of Seduction as I am usually just lurking, but here goes:

Do you have any close friends to share this with? Maybe have them be part of your adventures to provide help along the way or be part of it themselves if they are single too. If you don't care about the sex, then a close friend can fill out much of the role as a companion. Especially when time isn't taken up by a full time job and you can spend a lot of time together.

And then I would suggest you begin to do something where you hang out with other people. Video editing and guitar playing is nice, but I suspect that you do that alone. Maybe join a band or team sports of a kind. A good opportunity to get out of your comfort zone too.

throwawaytinder2 · 2017-08-20T00:28:03+00:00

I feel for you man. Dunno if I can offer you any good advice, but one thing I've learned is that there needs to be an outlet for the anger and bitterness. I like bodyboarding and boxing.

dawgsen · 2017-08-20T17:52:16+00:00

Been in a dark place before, but can say I am happier now than ever. I wish someone told me those things before because they really do work. Just hoping I can help at least one soul in this lifetime.

osofurioso0905 · 2017-08-22T19:30:29+00:00

Hey man, your story reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger. I'm also a perfectionist who listens to metal and beats himself up for not being "good enough" . Funny thing is, good enough is a relative term.

About a few months ago I met someone amazing. She's beautiful, funny, kind, and is clumsy as fuck (which makes her even sexier somehow). From the moment I met her, I instantly thought I was out of her league. I was obsessed with this girl -- I knew I had to have her. But how? I slowly started to befriend her so that she would hopefully like how nice and cool I was (nope, I fucked up).

Asked her out about a few weeks ago and she said no. The best part? She told me she was into me the day she met me. She was waiting for me to make the moves on her, and put me in the friend category because that's all I showered her with: friendship. I was defeated by my thoughts before anything even happened.

Learn to see the value you have as a person! Seeking validation from a female will not take away the longing you feel in your heart to get better. Learn to forgive yourself and draw strength from the viking metal head that you are! If the bitch doesn't like you, her loss!

ImTheBlackTomHanks · 2017-08-19T20:13:33+00:00

Time is everything. It's absolutely impossible to spend time engaging in negative attitudes and come away from it with self-esteem; as obvious as that sounds, the problem is consistency.

"Even though" you got friend zoned, you learnt from your mistakes. "Even though" you have issues, you do have things going for you. "Even though" you're slightly overweight, you're making a serious effort to turn that around. "Even though" you don't have a girl, what about the relationships you do have?

Energy expands; what you focus on, you get more of. You have to substitute all of the time you spend dwelling over what you lack and "even though" they are quite valid issues, "even though" you don't feel great about it, you can choose to focus on something positive. Again, while there is some validity to what you're saying it shouldn't be used as an excuse to dwell on it and allow it to build.

If you enagage in negative and destructive activities, people, thoughts, feelings, you're not going to walk away from it feeling good. If you're in that state, you will resonate with and justify those habits but you have to take the conscious responsibilty to choose what you want to focus on. It does get easier and you do build momentum over time but you do need to make a consistent effort, one action isn't going to override this negative energy you keep accumilating.

dawgsen · 2017-08-19T21:38:14+00:00

What does your philosophical foundation look like? Do you have a set daily routie? Do you meditate? Do you spend a lot of time in the past? Do you lift on a regular basis?

Title	Depression is killing me, Need advice.
Author	throwaway13123134
Upvotes	27
Comments	30
Date	August 19, 2017 5:31 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6uqct9/depression_is_killing_me_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/depression-is-killing-me-need-advice.1432267 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432267

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