Developing a social life and getting invited to events

DrivingTheUniverse · 2018-01-07T22:23:59+00:00

1) Get everyone's contacts. Be cool & give value to all (by cool I mean find your own style & groove, associate with others you enjoy being around, etc.)

2) Never flake. Always say yes to going out. Contribute massive value.

3) Be fun. Practice being fun.

4) Stop having an agenda (ie. "Game) while going out. Just have fun, and learn some party tricks.

5) Get off Reddit and go out. Always be social. Don't study at home. Study outside. Walk outside. Meditate outside. Be yourself outside. You should only be at home when it's absolutely necessary- be outside at all other times

6) Complementing #5, learn how to talk to strangers. You can make friends in coffee shops, etc. so easily

DrWeedWriting · 2018-01-07T10:51:50+00:00

First off, go to some place that you really enjoy and participate in activities that you’re passionate about. Even if it is something as boring as going to the library, you’re bound to meet some like minded people and hit it off.

And that really is the key, “like mindedness”. This is because if you were invited to an event by a bunch of people who are not interested in the same things that you are, chances are you won’t end up hanging out with them very often.

So just pick any activity that you enjoy and go out and do it. You’ll meet a lot of interesting people along the way.

cool144 · 2018-01-07T14:29:09+00:00

befriend people and don't cast others as undesirable before hanging out with them. made friends in college through talking to random people on the bus, in the dining hall, at the gym, ect. and I'm introverted

PhysiologyIsPhun · 2018-01-08T04:29:53+00:00

Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People." That book changed my life. I always had friends in undergrad, but I found it hard to really get close to people because I was the kind of guy to always sit and brag about my accomplishments as the listener grew bored and wondered when it was their time to speak. TL;DR of the book: Be interested, not interesting. People love talking about themselves so give them a platform to do it. ANYTHING is a conversation starter; seriously.

Also, know that social circles take time to build. It usually starts by hanging out with one or two acquaintances (never turn down an invite) and befriending some of their friends until you really start to connect with certain members of other groups. Once you have a decent amount of close friends from different groups, you can start inviting them and telling them to bring friends to your own parties that you host. This is where the fun begins because people start to look at you for their social entertainment. That's a very powerful situation to be in.

Don't think any of this will happen quickly; it's a gradual process I've had to go through 3 times already. But really, to get the ball rolling, talk to EVERYONE and really try to get to know them. Mention your hobbies to try to find some common interests, and never turn down an invite. You got it man, college is a great time.

oyoungpadawan · 2018-01-08T03:23:07+00:00

I way a naysayer and a negative person once.

What helped for me was being positive, enjoy the little things in life! People will notice and will want to be around you!

And as other people said, say yes to invitations, if they suck they suck. But will it suck more then being alone at home? It will ALMOST ALWAYS be better to go!!

QuellonGreyjoy · 2018-01-08T00:15:27+00:00

My friend would host parties and predrinks, get his friends to meet through him creating a 'spider web' around himself. Those friends would bring their friends and so on. He builds a solid group who know and like each other, revolving around him. He wouldn't be short of invites or girls to meet.

Sometimes you need a different approach. I use it a lot, it's basically outreach and crucial to a good social life. This is a good option if you don't have a concrete group of your own to host parties with. Or if you don't like hassle of deciding who to invite or hosting people.

Place yourself in different groups until you become integrated. In college its easily to make acquaintances, which can become friends. Don't be afraid to ask people if they're heading out, and if you can join. As long as you are a cool guy, people will want you around. (That means don't turn up and overtly hit on people or be a liability.) If you do get the invite make a proper effort to befriend the whole group, and not be tied to your friend. Do this enough and when they make their mental list of who to invite out you'll be on it. You can almost be selfish in some cases, ask loads of people what's going on and pick what you fancy.

If they're a thing at your college, join a sports society. You don't even have to be good a sport. Turn up to train every so often (put more effort in when integrating) and you have guaranteed invitations and interactions with sporty girls. Other club/societies are fine too, and are good for making friends and having fun in general.

Other than that just put the effort in with people on your degree, people you meet in your block, flat, house, wherever. Make sure you get FB so you remember each other and can hit them up to see if they're going out anywhere and vice versa.

TL:DR; The end goal is the have a few solid groups of your own but also various extended acquaintance links to mix things up. A lot of people end up with stronger core groups throughout college but then people leave abroad/graduate and you end up with no mates. You need to make the effort to rebuild your social circles.

Title	Developing a social life and getting invited to events
Author	SwaggyProfit
Upvotes	28
Comments	7
Date	January 7, 2018 9:12 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7opok6/developing_a_social_life_and_getting_invited_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/developing-a-social-life-and-getting-invited-to.1439659 https://theredarchive.com/post/1439659

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