Do self deprecating jokes build attraction?

2018-02-11T07:07:10+00:00

No, you may get away with one or two jokes, but they become tiresome quickly and after awhile she will begin to wonder if you really are worth it, after all if you don't think you're great, maybe you aren't

elduce93 · 2018-02-11T07:58:34+00:00

No. She may laugh, but it's pity, not attraction. You'll end up looking like a chump.

SocialReject101 · 2018-02-11T10:19:03+00:00

Self deprecation should be used just for laughs in apropriate situations. The joke should not be about something you are insecure about but on the contrary. You should use self deprecation only on things you are confident about and the joke should be absurd e.g. during the scene it is well established that you dress well and you feel confident about your style (you even get compliments from guys and girls). You can answer to one of these compliments with a comment like "Yeah I guess I owe my mom a thanks. She dresses me up every time I go to a night out" or something about them being your brothers clothes. At that moment you won't have any insecurities about your dresing style because you and people around you know that it is good and the joke is not true but it is funny and shows you have confidence in negging yourself and not giving two shits about it. It also warms up the conversation. But as Steve_Savage's commemt mentions you shouldn't overuse it.

On the other hand if you feel frustrated with your sexual performance and you jokingly announce that you are the guy nobody should have sex with it will come off as a needy attempt to attract people through making fun of yourself about a thing that makes you feel unworthy and those insecurities will be seen very well. People may laugh but you will have lowered your status. The more you'll do it, the more will people know that you are just a sad person.

Make self deprecation jokes only about thing you are good and confident about.

vryptosin · 2018-02-11T14:13:57+00:00

It depends on the situation and kind of joke. Good humor but seriously most girls lacks humor or have a very bad sense or very childish. For them, it gor the reverse effect.

If you do something and you are clearly worse than her, you can say along the line (well the perks of not being from city)

ThrowawayPUA · 2018-02-11T14:22:41+00:00

No. It exposes your neuroses.

Futurebrain · 2018-02-12T00:12:32+00:00

I'll disagree with most people here, I think. Self-deprecating jokes when executed correctly are not detrimental. However, there are two types that you must avoid.

At one point in my life I found the purpose of some of my self deprecating humor was actually to fish for complements. I would say to a female coworker "wow he tipped the shit out of you, and all you needed to do was flash those big blue eyes of yours. My shit-brown eyes are only worth 10%!" What I was actually doing was fishing for a compliment, ("I like your eyes, they're dark and intense") which, even if I received, actually has an underlying meaning. It means that I was seeking out praise for certain things I probably new were positive. And what that means is I was more invested in others perception of myself, I needed them to give me value. Don't do this.

Second, I realized that sometimes I was doing the opposite. I was exposing my insecurities as a way to protect them from what I thought they would discover anyways. I would say "Sure you can come over, I hope you like places that reek of loneliness and BO". Sure I got a laugh and a "You're just exaggerating" but what I was really doing was just trying to give an excuse for something I perceived to be inadequate about myself. Insecurities are inherently just that, I was worried she would judge my place, and therefore me, in a certain way, but that worry had no basis in fact or reality. I made it myself, and exposing it in that way is a huge turn off. Instead of creating a situation in my head and fearing it, I should have focused on reality, and if I did notice that say, my apartment was dirty, there is an actual way to solve that (clean!). All insecurities should be analyzed and eradicated in that way.

Good self deprecating humor is a reflection of reality. I love telling the story of how one night, when super drunk, I ate shit into a creek I was trying to pee into. I crack people up telling them how bad I am at basketball (especially because I get asked if I play at least once a week). The difference is, in the first example, the value that I get out of that story, is that it's fucking hilarious, because I think it is. And in the second case, this is good self deprecating humor because being good at basketball is not important to me or my character/values/goals. Self deprecating humor is effective when/because it can show someone you know who you are, and you know what you value (inner confidence), and because it shows a level of modesty, or at least self worth, that is comforting and relateable.

Title	Do self deprecating jokes build attraction?
Author	HeartBreakRidge
Upvotes	4
Comments	6
Date	February 11, 2018 7:03 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7wrf4e/do_self_deprecating_jokes_build_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-self-deprecating-jokes-build-attraction.1441496 https://theredarchive.com/post/1441496

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