Hi guys, first time poster and long time reader here. Just wanted to share something that I hope will help everyone. Often, we get posts on this subreddit telling you to do this and to do that, whenever to escalate and touch and kino and all that. Although I agree that escalation on our list of duties, but the pace at which we do it should be a natural pace. So brings me to my life advice -

If it makes you feel comfortable, do it. If it feels right in your being, do it. Feel deep within your being, in your gut if in doing something feels right and appropriate. If it doesn't sit right with you even though it is recommended by top PUartists and that new pick-up tip has thousands of upvotes, don't do it. People have this uncanny ability to tell if you're being genuine or forcing something through, so there is no point in being overly inauthentic and insincere if that's not who you are. Just be the best version of yourself. There is no need to worry if you are being judged for someone you are not, and that's why I think it's hard to be inexplicably sincere at times - because you are revealing your true self to the world. This type of thinking definitely ties in with 'Models' by Mark Manson which undoubtedly will be mentioned in the comments.

However for me, this took away a lot of the anxiety of interacting with girls, if I am truly myself by acting in accordance with my values and my feelings, there is no need to think of what to do next, or fret over doing something right, etc. If there is no 'right' thing to be done, I am merely acting as who I am, and not someone trying to act like somebody else in order to get the girl, then I am genuine. If there is a mistake that is made, I will learn from it and might even laugh about it. Heck, she might even laugh about it, making you attractive in her books. This is part and parcel of being sincere and authentic. There is a kind of liberation in this that makes you free to be whoever you are meant to be, and that is extremely attractive to people, guys and girls alike.

There is a lot of controversy in this that people will say you have to step out of your comfort zone to achieve anything, or that being complacent in life will not bring you anything. What I'm saying is to step out of your comfort zone, but only if you feel the confidence to do so - otherwise, things just backfire and lead to mistakes and problems. It's like flying off a 50-foot snowboard jump when you've only had the experience to do so much like little jumps and small tricks, it's not going to end well, there is a reason you don't have the confidence to attempt that jump. Instead, work with what you're comfortable with and make your way up. There is no way to force progression in a day.

Even saying all this, I understand that is is difficult sometimes to be our own person and be distracted by the fact there is a girl making me do this thing in order to impress her. This is when I remind myself what is the most comfortable thing to me that I can do? And do it. It might involve talking to her, it might involve just smiling at her for no reason, and then it calms my nerves to know what she is thinking based on her response. It might be ignoring her and doing my own thing, as long as it is my natural state of being. If she was attracted in the first place, not doing anything is the right play anyway. Be patient and be intuitive. There is no need to rush things. If it was meant to be it will be, baby just let it be. If there is ever a day that I don't do this, please hold it accountable against me.

Bring this to other areas of your life, if it feels comfortable, do it. People and life naturally bring demands and deadlines upon you, and you will feel the pressure to do things - so let it be, and there naturally will be a rhythm to get things done.

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Thank you for reading