Let us pretend her name is Sara.

Sara and I have been friends for about 4 years. Sara is super good looking, laughs at what I have to say and generally approves of my company--hell, even said I was one of her closest friends. So then why am I doing this?

There are so many reasons why, that I wonder why I waited so long to cut her off. A red flag is a red flag--it shouldn't take a plethora to wake me up....but it did.

Firstly, Sara has a friend issue. I don't quite know how to explain this, but time and time again men and women who were great friends with Sara suddenly aren't. In imaginable cases the transition from friend to not-friend would be "We don't talk anymore since....." or "We had an argument about......." Deal is, that's not at all how it goes, for Sara or her ex-friends. When I ask Sara "what happened between you and so-and-so" her answer isn't a casual we had unsettled differences its more of a "I hate their guts now because they're selfish cretins who need to die." Thats intense, and considering most of these people she now hates were mutual friends, whom I still friends with, I can say for sure these people are not bad people at all: and they all strongly dislike Sara. So red flag number one: Toxic

Sara also lies. I gave her the benefit of the doubt a number of times for the sake of our friendship, but it was in vain. What she lied about isn't important, but she reassured me that whatever she said was the truth was indeed the truth. A few nights ago a strong friend of mine showed me a video of her doing she said she didn't. Lie all you want Sara, but you can't deny a video. Red flag number two: Liar.

This one is probably the most influential in my decision. She's a carpenter. I don't know if that's the technical term or whatever but basically she used me. I can never tell if she genuinely seeks my company or utilizes me for my money and mobility, but one time her word choice was off and it gave me a wake-up call. Normally her messages, calls, or word choice in general is "how would you like to...." or "Wanna go out to......": you know? something inviting. This time her word choice implied I was obligated to do what she wanted "I really want to see Star Wars this month." In my mind I thought so what? go see it but I just didn't reply cause I couldn't think of what to say. And this isn't the first time she's used those words but I guess the most recent time was the most irritating? I have no interest in being a tool for a girl who sees me nothing more than one. Red flag number three: manipulative

The last and perhaps most conflicting with all of these reasons is the crush I had on her.....three times. I've told her each time and she rejected me each time, yet I'm still her friend. Talking to Sara about this now, she claims she thought I was kidding and if I was serious about how I felt I'd tell her.....which I have again--many times. Sara must suck at social cues. I told her I felt like the dog in cartoons that reach for the bone tied to a fishing pole, but can never reach it cause the cat lifts the pole just out of the dog's reach: she said "yeah that's I'm doing." This was not sarcastic in nature at all, and she didn't even try to coat it with anything.....It didn't seem joking at all, but it could have been. Red flag number four:....unrequited feelings.

Lastly she utilizes a heavy double-standard where she's 'allowed' to talk a certain way, and act a certain way, and hangout with certain people, but I can't do the same? Firstly, the lying--which I never brought up to her. Secondly the people, I wasn't 'allowed' to be friends with the people she dropped because she didn't like them (her words), yet she was totally free to coitus-interceptus with people I had serious issues with. Thirdly, I wasn't 'allowed' to go to a party or event without her coming with me--and of course, she never told me about any she went to.

Of course I always did what I wasn't 'allowed' to do. Deal with it Sara.

Perhaps I just needed to rant a bit about a poison in my life, or I have a serious issue with people. Regardless, what Sara and I have will be no more. I will not be her friend anymore, not her tool, her wallet, car--nothing.

A unique case? Probably, but I would hope that anyone else in a similar situation would cut off those who are bad for you. I shouldn't have dealt with her nonsense. No one should deal with a person as poisonous as she was.

Moral of the story: do what you want, be who you are

I nibbled on the barrel and it left me feeling like a doormat. Now that I've pulled the trigger, I'm walking in the building chin-up.

Don't nibble on the barrel, pull the trigger.