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Dry spell mental block

dukec · 2011-10-03T00:48:33+00:00

So it's been incredibly long since I've had sex, on the order of about 2 years (broke up with a long term gf, had sex with one girl about a month...

dukec

October 3, 2011

12 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Dry spell mental block
Author	dukec
Upvotes	12
Comments	4
Date	October 3, 2011 12:48 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kyuk1/dry_spell_mental_block/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dry-spell-mental-block.1323371 https://theredarchive.com/post/1323371

Comments

[–]chemicalcomfort3 points 14 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

I went through something similar about a year ago. However my dry spell was mostly due to a bout with some heavy depression after an abrupt break-up. It boiled down to having very little self-esteem and self worth. I got my act together and simply worked on improving myself (eating right, going to the gym, getting back in school, etc...). Once I had my confidence back up, I found hooking up with girls a lot easier. Sounds to me like this might be what you're experiencing.

EDIT: After re-reading the original post, I think I may add some more. Do you find your hands are consistently cold? It's possible you have an iron deficiency (*I am not a doctor). Perhaps a multivitamin and drinking more water can help. You should be doing those things anyway. When in the moment, you could also try washing your hands in really warm water and drying them thoroughly. As for the transitioning from heavy making out to sex, I find the simplest thing to do is to simply start taking clothes off. Take something of yours off first, it will make her feel more comfortable. Comfort is the key.

[–]iznou 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it's safe to say his hands have plenty of iron. (also not a doctor)

The mental block is (guessing here) performance anxiety. You want to live up to some kind of expectations perhaps?

I'm going to try and give you some inner game advice but first I think it helps to share my experience...

I had sex this weekend after a bit of a dry spell myself and it was nothing to write home about. Seriously you probably wouldn't fuck this girl but I did because I'm a dirty bastard. For reference I am 29 and she's 30-something.

So I could have made it an annoying experience for both of us, or I could have made the most of it. Thankfully I chose the second option.

FR: Met on craigslist 3 months ago but never met in person. Chatted online recently, texted, setup meet, called, went to the bar in her area. Just hung out and played nice till we got home, to the bedroom, then just chilled in the bed with my shirt off till she jumped me. Token resistance of course till she changed her mind like a real woman (love when they take responsibility for their actions), had a few words about STD's, got a condom on, had mediocre sex (but oh so needed), went to bed, woke up, fucked again, drove her back to her car, went to a football game watching party.

So depending on the situation, you can play the fool or play it cool, take it easy or take charge, blah blah blah....

But there is one thing that is common to all these styles.

She's seducing you.

Seriously.

You can try to use "game" to make yourself seem more attractive or when the time comes, to get more sexual. But all of that happens within the framework of her seducing you. Don't believe me? Look at all the time women spend making themselves up, looking nice, smelling nice, everything they do to look more attractive. I love when I see girls with (tasteful) tattoos or piercings because they are playing their part so well. I just want to be in their presence, soaking up every minute of time with them. That is a woman's gift: The ability to make you melt.

So with that in mind you let nature take its course. Sexual motivation comes from a place that you're not actively conscious of. It can be applied to all but the most hideous of females.

You can't just look at a girl and go "oh she looks like society's idea of an 8, she must be attractive, I better go hit on her." That is dishonest and your dick will hate you for treating it like that. No, we men are better than that, we will find our own reasons for attraction.

And that's what I did with that girl off craigslist. I found things about her that I liked and just played off that. She played her role well enough. Sometimes they get really dumb and start trying to sabotage the whole thing. I guess you call that shit tests. But the point is, she's taking you through a process. I'm sure some "alpha" guys out there have better selection of women and feel a bit more power, and can ignore that women are still selecting, perhaps unconsciously, but still, females are the selectors.

So if you have cold hands you're going against your nature in one way or the other. The conscious mind is trying to do something the body does not want. Even if you DO absolutely want to have sex at the time! Because you haven't gone through the natural process.

Anyway, take all this with a grain of salt, considering the caliber of women I am dealing with these days. But I do feel like I can relate to your situation.

[–]dukec 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]iznou 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link