So the following just happened to me and I think I handled it really well and grew quite a bit from it and thought the story might be useful to others.

I recently moved from the East Coast to a smaller Midwest city and have found it difficult to find the right scene. There's a large Christian fundamentalist population here which I am not interested in, and in general I find myself to be more progressive than those I have met thus far.

I am lonely. It would be really nice to have a partner or two, but so far that hasn't happened. And I'm ok with that. I'd rather not be lonely, but I accept it as a genuine emotion without falling into a self-pity party.

And then the other day I met Jill. A coworker introduced us and we hit it off. Had a first date like 2 days later. Was one of the best first dates I've ever had. We played pool, then went to a karaoke bar, then SHE asked if I wanted to go explore an abandoned farmstead in a forest on the outskirts of town. At 2am in the morning. Great time, lots of kissing and touching.

And she was super cute, fun, nice, and open minded, and we were really clicking.

Then I invite her out to an EDM show a few days later, which she had never been to. We meet and talk and are again just really enjoying each other's company. Then a better DJ comes on and I suggest we go dance. I had pants with tiny pockets so I ask her to put my phone in her purse.

Now I am a good dancer. Like, really good. Whenever I go full out people watch. And I'd had a few beers, was really enjoying the company of this pretty girl, and know that I stand out on the dance floor and so started to dance. I didn't go nuts but I hit a sweet groove and was really feeling the music. I had brought little LED lights and pulled them out. I danced by myself for a while and then started dancing with her. I thought things went great.

Then the set ended and she told me, "Hey, I'll be right back." And I said "Cool." Next DJ came on and I was just grooving by myself. And then Jill doesn't come right back. I look around for a minute and then shrug and go back to the dance floor. Then she still doesn't come back. She has my phone so I can't call her, and so I look everywhere for her. Don't find her. At this point I knew something was really off.

I go back to the dance floor and then this guy comes up to me and says "Hey I think you dropped this." And hands me my phone. Which was in her purse. I'm very confused now. I call her from my phone.

She picks up, "Oh you got your phone back, good. I can't really hear you cuz of the noise." "I'll go outside." She hangs up. Doesn't answer when I call her back. I text her, "Is everything ok?" Her: "Yeah yeah. Hey so I just think we're two really different people :/ I was nice getting to know you." Me: "ok" "Could you maybe explain that to me? I'm very confused right now" Nothing more.

So there's maybe a half an hour of the show left, and I go back in and dance. But I'm real bummed. Not like overtly, but my energy and self-confidence took a really big hit. I walk home super confused and feeling rejected. I decide the only thing that could have happened is that I inadvertently really offended her, which just was not the case - I'd say less than 1% chance that could be true, or that she was overwhelmed by my dancing and just ran away - which is the only explanation I've come up with.

I woke up the next morning still pretty down about it. I'd been really excited about this girl and things had been going so well. The loneliness came back even harder after going on hiatus for the week I'd known her. I think about it on my run and have to keep telling myself that it was meant to be.

Then later that day at work my whole perspective started to shift. Instead of taking it personally and being down on myself, I started thinking of how fucked up her behavior was. It's one thing if she realized over the course of the night that she was no longer into me, but to just disappear with no explanation, no saying I have to leave, to either drop my phone or give it to a stranger, and then to just stop responding? Super shitty behavior. Almost unbelievable.

And so while I had been really excited about her, and had really enjoyed her company up to that point, I'd far rather be lonely than be with someone who is capable of doing that. And once I looked at it this way, the feeling of rejection has almost completely disappeared. There is no doubt in my mind that she did me a huge favor by rejecting me.

Anyway, I found this insight to be really helpful. Hopefully someone out there does too.

tl;dr: Girl brutally bails in the middle of a date and after feeling really rejected realize she did me a huge favor.