Hey everybody! It's Desmond from Dating American. I was just chatting with somebody about building comfort at the end of a date, thought I'd share my advice:

Ending the Date, Turning Off the Slut Warning - Dating American Blog

There's a good girl voice inside each woman telling her that she needs to make sure to be proper and avoid being a slut. It's a horrible voice- a product, I'm sure, of a society advocating shame and guilt where there should be nothing but pleasure- but I'm not really going to delve into why this voice exists, only that you have to turn it off. The job of this voice is to be the voice of reason, and to betray the girl's otherwise carnal desire to get her freak on!

The best way to advance without setting off the slut warning is by battling on two fronts.

One one side, you escalate physically. Body language, back, arm and hand touching. Even kissing and more. But the other side is to verbally appeal to the good girl.

Look her in the eyes and make some sexual tension, then contradict the tension and say "oh, wow, I'm sorry we really shouldn't." Act like the sudden tension was completely organic and took you by surprise. You'll ease the slut warning while really revving up the bad girl side. She'll think: He's not trying to sleep with me- these feelings are surprising him just as much as me. We're on the same page.

This basic principle lends a greatly to closing a date.

Build comfort and put the good girl to ease:

"I'm going to bring you home, it's a work day tomorrow. But maybe I can stay up for one last drink- would you like a tour of my apartment?"

I'm going to bring you home. As a date looks like it's wrapping up, I start putting pressure on the idea that I'm taking a girl home. My actions will betray that the entire night (unless of course she actually wants to go!). By planting it in her mind that she is absolutely going home, she feels comfortable that there will be no need for the slut warning, and she'll more comfortably get into positions that can escalate.

What would happen if you didn't say that? "Hey let's tour my apartment!" Now she's wondering if you are talking about sex. You're making her make the decision to have sex before she's in the moment! She's now scrambling in her head to work out the logistics to make sure she gets home. She may be a little more guarded because she doesn't know what to expect.

Once you get that guard down with the "I'm going to take you home" she'll likely agree to continue hanging out on borrowed time. "Oh really it's so late, I have got to get you home! One more drink." It keeps things light, and comfortable.

View the full post here! - Dating American Blog