Hey all - this may be a fairly long post, but hoping someone has some insights. I’ve read Models by Mark Manson previously.

I moved back to LA (Venice specifically) after a year long stint in Seattle. I had no problem with the apps in Seattle and met some girls at clubs (I don’t drink but had a buddy that would go with me so I didn’t feel predatory). Still was not good at approaching women in the clubs but at least I did it a few times, never got shut down.

I decided to move back to LA because I missed the sun and honestly knew I wasn’t going to find my forever partner in Seattle. But now I’m in LA and have been for six months, still don’t have any close friends, the apps have been abysmal. There was one girl I really liked and was very intentional with and then she broke things off suddenly. I also lost a friend during those six months due to an OD, at the same time the girl dropped me.

I even spoke to a dating coach … but I’m 6’4” and often told I’m good looking and haven’t had issues getting laid in the past so I don’t really want to pay someone 5k to help me approach women. I’m just lonely and I’m a bit surprised the apps have been so bad, I walk around and 9/10 women around me are beautiful and the 10th ones are the ones that match with me on the apps.

I buzzed my hair when I moved after having super long hair and I’m worried that’s what’s caused the change. But I see these beautiful women around me when I walk outside and I just freak out and don’t speak to them. I’m also currently on leave and looking for a new job which also has me feeling a bit aimless.

I guess what I’m asking is if anyone has any advice to break this mental block and just gain my confidence back and stop feeling trapped by my fear of these women I’m surrounded by.

Also before you tell me to go to the gym I have a coach and am working towards competing in bodybuilding so the physique isn’t the problem.