Hey guys, been a long time lurker, but decided to step out of my comfort zone and put what I’ve learned into action.

To give some context, I’m a 5’6 Asian male in my early 30s with average attractiveness and build. Been working on my inner self-confidence, putting more effort in how I dress, and working out more. I’ve always had approach anxiety since I grew up in a conservative family. I was always friends with my exes before dating them, and never really knew how to flirt. Never really had casual sex or fwb type relationships.

I took a work trip to another state recently, and wanted to share some success. Any feedback would also be a plus.

Throughout my trip, I had the mindset of just trying to start casual conversations with strangers regardless of gender, being friendly, and just enjoying myself.

  1. Went to a museum I wanted to check out, and started walking around. Saw a girl who was also by herself. We were kind of perusing at the same pace, so I went up beside her and made a comment on one of the exhibits. She responded to my comment, and I just kept making small talk about the exhibit. After a few brief exchanges, I said “by the way, my name is ***, what is your name”. This segwayed into us talking about what we did for work, what brought us here, etc. I wasn’t sure if she was into it or just being polite, so I stayed silent for a bit to see if she would try to actively engage in conversation, and she did. I also noticed some positive body language like her playing with her hair when talking to me. We ended up walking through the entire museum together. She seemed conservative and I didn’t know how to establish kino in this context, so I got her social media saying we could hang out later, gave her a hug, and went on my way.

  2. Went to the beach and saw a cute girl looking at the waves. After a self pep-talk, I walked up to her to say hi. I commented on some stacked rocks beside her saying I liked them, and she said she didn’t make them. I said I just wanted to say hi and thought that she looked beautiful. She said I looked beautiful too. Our vibe didn’t really click after some small talk, but she seemed engaged in the conversation. A curious observation I made was that as we spoke to each other, her body stance went from a standing with legs together posture to a gradually feet/legs spread more apart posture. Not sure how to interpret this body language. I asked for her social media saying we could grab drinks sometime, and went on my way.

  3. Went to a restaurant and sat at the bar. Made small talk with the bartender, and the woman beside me was too. We just naturally started talking, mainly about what we did and the places she recommend I visit while in town. She was actually about the pay her bill when my food got here, but decided to stay and chat. She seemed older than I was (maybe late-30s) and was impressed by my job since her family always wanted her to do what I do. She had a partner, so at the end, I shared with her my recent goal to try to meet/date more people. She told me she never would have guessed I had trouble with dating. We hugged at the end and went our separate ways.

All in all, I’ve enjoyed these encounters on some level even though they were mostly friendly, and I feel proud of myself to have taken tangible steps in this direction. Some lessons for myself would be 1. continue being genuinely excited to meet new people and 2. that you can really say anything to start a conversation.

Next things to work on are more approaches, flirting, and kino. Let me know what you guys think. Hopefully this was somewhat helpful for others in my shoes!

TLDR: stepped out of my comfort zone with 3 approaches which were friendly and went well.

Edit: grammar and clarity