Long story short, after two dates and a lot of trying to navigate actually dating a girl for the first time, I finally had sex. Hung out at my place while my parents were away for the evening and, well, the rest is history.

But I seemed to have some hang-ups while we were doing it. Like, it felt, for lack of a better word, weird, to intimately touch an actual, live, hot girl for the first time, and I kept freezing up at the worst moments, like when she sat on my lap and started dry-humping me, and I sat there like a retard for about 30 seconds before I actually went to hold her. And when it actually got to the "penis in vagina" part, I kept losing hardness because it was the strangest sensation I've ever felt. It certainly isn't anything like my own hand. She was pretty cool about it afterwards, although I could tell she was wondering why I was so hesitant to touch her. She certainly didn't lack in looks, so it can't have been a lack of physical attraction.

I don't think it was nerves either, since I was surprisingly relaxed during the whole event. Maybe it was just a one-time thing, and next time I'll be more into it.

But still - I just had sex!