First date... ever. Need your help seddit

Mavenix · 2014-03-28T11:26:16+00:00

My advice is: If you want a stable relationship make things run slowly. In this situation girls like when a guy doesn't show as a sex machine, if you show interest in her personality (but of course you can say physical compliments too!) and you are compatible then it will go smoothly and end with a perfect kiss (or not, it's not necessary although if you see the opportunity do it, but if the second date ends without a kiss... bad sign).

For me, the first location for the meeting is not a very romantic place that says "I'm in love with you!" it's more like a beautiful but small park, or a bench at the promenade. Remember that you are KNOWING EACH OTHER, love comes later.

Another advice, but about this one I can't tell you from my experience but I have friends that use the second time rule: First time you are a nice guy, but you're not giving all your potential. The second time you're better than the first and she reacts very good because the first impression that she could tell to her friends may be like "This guy is nice, but I've only met him once" and you know, woman immediately start making fantasies in their minds, and then the second time you're like the supercoolmister and then she thinks "Yes, definitely, first time went well and this second was fantastic!". He's my man, ~~make me a child~~!

NOTE: Always be what you are, not act as someone else that is not you, if you overact (much, a very little may be helpful) then you're fucked, she'll notice that eventually. By "supercoolmister" I mean giving your 100%, not overacting.

nbarron31 · 2014-03-28T10:25:44+00:00

Go casual. Avoid a movie, it eliminates conversation. Ask questions and listen. Focus on similar interests.

puaCurveBall · 2014-03-28T18:48:28+00:00

This belongs in /r/askseddit as it is asking advice for a specific situation / girl

This will stay in spam filter, please repost in the AskSeddit subreddit.(Not askREDDIT, but askSEDDIT) Please read RULES & GUIDELINES. This post is answered by many SIDEBAR guides.

I would also recommend reading 10-20 of the top posts on Seddit: FOUND HERE

Also, don't worry about it! You didn't do anything wrong since you didn't know

Apex_of_Attraction · 2014-03-28T12:57:40+00:00

Hey throwawayaz123,

In terms of picking her up, I'd suggest you meet her at the restaurant. That is, unless she live's far away and it's really awkward for her to get to the venue.

Greeting: Personally I'd give her a hug, maybe a kiss on the cheek (nothing too lingering, just casual but sets the tone of the interaction).

For the restaurant, I'd keep it casual. Try pick somewhere fun. Talk about your passions, and get her talking about hers. Be an active listener if you don't know exactly what to say. So few guys do this.

After dinner you guys could go for a walk and grab ice-cream. If it's your first time going on a date I wouldn't be too concerned about an f-close alright. Just relax and relate to her as if you were talking to a friend. But flirt and be a bit physical when you can. Keep it playful. You'll do great. Good luck! :)

Darragh, Apex of Attraction www.apexofattraction.com

JimmySvitak · 2014-03-28T15:27:30+00:00

Just have fun dude. Literally. Do whatevers going to make you have fun and she'll have fun to.
Should you pick her up? "Hey you want me to swing by and pick you up or are ya gonna meet me the"
What kind of greeting? The same way you greet the rest of your friends. I like hey and a hug.
What kind of restaurant? One you like. Go somewhere you enjoy, where they have good food, friendly staff, somewhere fun. Somewhere you would go with your bros.
After dinner go anywhere you can chat. If the weather is decent, parks are cool. Bookstore. Any open mic that you can talk at. Improv shows are great. Malls are maybes. Anywhere you can chill and have fun. I've taken girls car shopping, grocery shopping, plenty of shows, and LOTS of coffee shops. Anywhere you can talk and relax and have fun.
It's DEFINITELY okay to go to a few different places in 1 night!

Einlanzr · 2014-03-28T15:29:59+00:00

If you do decide on a movie, go see the movie first and then go out to eat. Not only will you have something to talk about while eating but you also get to see who your date truly is based on his/her reaction to the movie.

EDIT: I'm a tard.

I_have_secrets · 2014-03-28T16:20:51+00:00

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. This is great, you already have the date! I personally don't like restaurants on a first date, its too 'structured', also you get interupted by the waiter/ress every now and then which can ruin the conversational flow.

I like something a little more relaxed, like a bar, a place with desserts and milkshakes (you know the 1950s diner type), a place where you can get a quick snack. This will eliminate the whole 'Shall I pay?' thing, because its not an over expensive night, creates less awkwardness and allows you both to relax. These type of places you can leave early and try somewhere else. Its all about keeping things moving, exciting and fun.

Give her a couple of options and see what she thinks. Be confident. You dont 'want' to show her a good time, you are 'going to' show her a good time by being in her company.

Ultimately, the place doesnt matter. Just focus on her, pretend she isnt a date and just try and get to know her as a person. This will put less pressure on you. Try to be close though, keep eye contact, compliment the way she looks in a subtle way, 'you look nice'. (Just acknowledge the effort she has made for the evening). Touch her hand at least once, make an excuse, 'i like your ring' take her hand for a closer look. This establishes contact and can help her feel more relaxed with you.

When you say goodnight, it will be up to you whether you want to go in for a kiss or not. You need to find the right moment.

The next date can be a sit down dinner. You will both be more comfortable by then. Dont worry, have fun and make the most of it.

Good luck sweetheart.

Rx_Love · 2014-03-28T18:24:48+00:00

Don't go to a movie for a first date, if your plan is set than stick to it but try to do something fun outside the traditional sit across from each other at dinner.

Be a gentleman - hold open doors and be classy.

Other than that just relax, act natural and be an enjoyable person to be spending time with.

If it goes really well and her body language suggests it maybe go for a kiss at the end

Title	First date... ever. Need your help seddit
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	9
Date	March 28, 2014 9:55 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/21kyg5/first_date_ever_need_your_help_seddit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-date-ever-need-your-help-seddit.1299632 https://theredarchive.com/post/1299632

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