So I just moved to a new city, and was stuck in a bit of a rut in my old one. I was having sex with a few girls regularly, and had a few one night stands, but ultimately I was bored. The girls I slept with regularly were friends that I had known for a while, and things had just escalated one night and we had kept an arrangement. This steady routine made me reluctant to really push myself, as I always had a backup.

Que moving to a new city and being alone. The first thing I did before moving was join an online dating site a few days before. I resolved to meet new people, and even if something went wrong or I wasn't attracted to them, at least I could still hone my skills of conversation and try things out. So I now have four dates over the next week, and went on the first last night.

I arrived at the meeting place and it was my first time doing this so I was very nervous about turning up to an old man with chloroform and a van. I had made the decision while on the train there that I would be good company no matter who the girl was if she turned out to have lied on her profile. To be honest, I was surprised when I turned up and she was attractive. Not my usual type at all, but as soon as I saw her I thought 'yeah, this could work'.

We get to a bar and start chatting and conversation flows easily as she's putting an equal amount of effort into the conversation which was nice and made things much easier. However, as I was sitting there and concentrating on the conversation, I realised I was letting my control of my body language slip. I had my arms crossed at one point (not for any reason, it's just comfortable), and I have a habit of touching my arm when I'm nervous. I forced myself to sit up straight, maintain eye contact and keep my body language open. It actually required more awareness than I thought it would.

The lady I was with mentioned she liked stand up comedy a lot, and I knew a cool comedy club to go to, so we headed off. I was aware that I needed to do some kind of kino at this point as we had a fair amount in common so conversation wasn't hard. While of the train our arms were on the arm rest and as conversation went on I gradually leaned in to create a 'bubble', and then our arms were touching and neither of us broke contact. It was a good start, but my problem is trying to feel what's natural. To me there's nothing that makes me cringe more than seeing a guy forcing situations to touch a girl and kino. It seems really obvious. It has to be smooth and natural. So as we walk to the club from the station we brush hands, I touch her shoulder in conversation as we're walking. Then in the gig we have to whisper if we want to talk, so we are close and there's a fair amount of contact. I did realise that if she hadn't mentioned it, I probably wouldn't take a girl to a comedy gig again as a date. We enjoyed it, but from the Seddit point of view it didn't really seem conducive to escalating. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong and give me examples if I am.

So we leave the gig, still enjoying each others company, and I pretend to not really know where I am so that I can accompany her to the station needs to get to. I'm pretty sure she knew what I was doing, but she didn't mind.

So we get to that awkward part where neither is sure what's going to happen now. I knew I wasn't going to f-close tonight, but I honestly didn't mind (which is rare). I had actually enjoyed her company and wanted to see her again. So we both agree we wanted to see each other again and she makes a comment. 'Why have you suddenly gone small?'. Shit. I'm six ft 5 and have good posture. My nerves at the situation had made me kind of hunch and because of my height it was very obvious. I made a joke of it that I can't remember, then she goes to leave and gives me a hug. I am now thinking 'There is no way this is a hug ending. I don't do hug endings'. She goes to step away, I say 'hold on' and touch her cheek. She turns back and leans in, k-close and lights up. She blushes, hurriedly says see you soon, and walks away smiling.

Not only did I had a great time, but I realised how out of practice I really am and how much I enjoy doing this. The nerves and adrenaline are addictive. It was odd that a girl I actually like made me loose my concentration on body language etc, but it just means I have to be extra aware of it the next time. I wouldn't have been aware if it wasn't for Seddit though, so thanks guys!