Fortune favors the bold

This could conceivably violate rule 5. If you don't think it's apropriate lmk.

There are many problems with the subreddit I'm about to link, that is not the purpose of discussion here. Don't be assholes and go troll that thread, that's not our focus. We are discussing the steps this man took that made this woman fall for him hook, line, & sinker.

https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/al6ruq/40f_he_is_46m_i_think_i_just_experienced_the/

He took her out to a movie, nothing crazy, it's what he does that's important. He saw the recliners would prevent touching, so he picked her up & put her in his lap. He didn't ask for permission he didn't over think it, he just did it.

And she fell hard.

I don't think his next move was as "universal" as the first, but I also like the touch at the end "I deleted my OLD profiles, if you want me, I'm yours". If you are the exclusive dating type, and this girl really strikes your fancy, I think this is a decent way to escalate. It makes her feel special, it quiets her insecurities. It establishes control in a subltle way too. He phrased it as a question, but he still took the initiative.

The important takeaway is knowing that he was bold, and he created a situation that set him apart in her mind. It didn't cost any extra money, and she didn't mention anything about his looks. Attitutde is most important, everything else is secondary.

[–]Errantsquire 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I like the physical but in my experience showing a girl you care so much that you're going to focus everything on her really ends up killing attraction. Seems counter intuitive, but she needs to feel like she's getting value by being with you. You demonstrate value by being fun, and having the ability to be with more women than just her. Just deleting your apps means you're so low value that you can't get another woman so you're giving up and putting all your focus on her. I'm speaking from experience because I did this last year and the girls first response was, "I don't think you should do that." I don't think it was because she didn't like me, she just wanted to feel like I wasn't needy on some level. Draw the woman into your world, she's along for the ride, she isn't the quest and she isn't your purpose.

[–]Livefreeconsulting[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This is going to be long, but there's a complex distinction that I've wanted to talk about for a while, but didn't have a good chance before.

I know what you are warning against, but since this is written from the perspective of a female then we know this isn't how it's perceived. Let's look at the crucial sentence in your post.

You demonstrate value by... having the ability to be with more women than just her.

This is a correct statement, because you added the word ability. Women are not impressed by the number of women you bang. Women value a man of status. Status can mean lots of different things of course, but they want a man who is respected and admired. If they know you are a man of status, they know that you have your pick of women. Women then feel valued that you chose them. You can still choose monogamy & exclusivity, without giving off the impression that you are needy.

There is a big difference between being needy and letting a woman know she's worth something to you. The author clearly felt the latter while your woman felt the former. Many women choose monogamy ONLY while most women are hoping to move towards monogamy at some point in the future. There are very few women who are ok with open-ended relationships for long periods of time. So we know there is a point where women want a higher level of focus.

I don't wanna pick on you here, so I'll pick on myself. After I got dumped in college I was crushing on this chick and I had HUGE "one-itis". It was bad, and she was desperate to keep me in the friend-zone. Fast forward about a decade to my divorce, and she begins to act super interested. I had a job, and a daughter, and I had lost a lot of weight, and it gave off the impression that I had my act together. But I fell back into my bad habits, and I quickly lost her by making her too much of my world.

So what's different today? I have a girlfriend, we are monogamous, she's constantly bragging about me to friends, she's frequently sends texts to say how much she loves me. The difference is that she knows I'm dependable and self-reliant. I own my own house, I volunteer, I run, I have a healthy friend group. All these things show my status to her, and show that I'm not going to be some overgrown kid that she has to look after. So when I got a date with her and her roommate in the same week, and I chose her (after a time) she felt delighted and entranced knowing that I had my pick, and she made the cut. The move to exclusivity enhanced her view of me, not decreased it. She knows that she enhances my life, but she also knows that I'm not putting all of my hopes in her to make myself happy.

So let's finish this by comparing it to your last statement.

Draw the woman into your world, she's along for the ride, she isn't the quest and she isn't your purpose.

TL:DR If you are a man of status & independence, then gestures of affection that focus on the woman increase her desire. If you are needy & clingy, these gestures have the opposite effect. No one action is going to get you ignored, it's the culmination of a lot of different factors.

[–]Errantsquire 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Fortune favors the bold
Author	Livefreeconsulting
Upvotes	9
Comments	3
Date	January 30, 2019 2:19 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ald3oi/fortune_favors_the_bold/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fortune-favors-the-bold.1461450 https://theredarchive.com/post/1461450

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