Got a girl's number the other night and went out for drinks with her. We were chatting and vibing for a while and when we came back there was a magician at our table. He had some serious skills, my mind was absolutely blown at everything he put out. He was older than me and fairly eloquent as well, and I started to get in my head a bit about him, because I could see him eyeing the girl I was with. I quickly shut it down and decided to be present rather than brood over what may or may not be valid insecurities. This is hard for me - my past relationship created self esteem issues in terms of comparing myself to other guys. I wasn't going to let that rear its head though, because getting protective would only kill the vibe since I barely knew the girl in the first place. Dibs don't exist in the real world.

Anyway we chit and chat and as the night goes on and we get more drinks in us a few things become apparent and one of those things is that he did not have his life together at all. This made me feel more comfortable throughout the night, and I got back into a more social state and was engaging both him and her in chatter of my own. The night ends and I walk the girl home and I was planning to kiss her anyway, but before I got a chance she attacked me like a wild animal. Took her back to her place and sealed the deal.

Key takeaway for me: My insecurities are just that - mine. Other people have completely different lenses through which they judge other people and just because I have insecurities about another guy who is clearly into the girl I'm with, that doesn't mean the girl sees those things. It's okay to be insecure, it's a problem when you let your emotions cripple your game.