This happened on Tuesday but I was hoping to write about it after I'd seen this girl for a second time which now looks like it's not happening.

I go to the library to read something as I've done a few times during my sickleave. Pick up a book and head towards the tables where people sit down and read. I spot a smart looking chick (HB8 from here on) and proceed to sit down opposite side of her.

As I sit down I ask her whether she'd be bothered if I sit on the opposite side. She says it's cool. Sit down to read my book, something something mindfulness. This is why I love the library, it gives me time. Once again I start thinking something imo very Larry Davidish to say and decide against it.

The tables are divided by a thin grey metal wall with holes in it. I've read for awhile now and haven't come up with anything better to say so I just comment, clearly to her direction: "It's weird how these walls are like this, with holes in them. It's kind of like you can see the person but talking is really awkward, they should make these either solid or no wall at all." She chuckles politely and reluctantly agrees.

I go silent mode again, at this point I think oh well it's pretty much over. I see her starting to pack her things and begin leaving. Already thinking about my next approach. She only goes to the bathroom. I notice there's like a law book or something on her table. So I decide to ask her about that when she comes back.

She arrives from hotel relief. Around 3 minutes pass. "So, are you studying law or something?" She informs me about actually studying something society related. We continue the conversation, I ask her age because she seems young. After I find out she's good to go I ask her if she'd mind me sitting next to her "It's really weird to talk from back here"I say.

She agrees and I hop over. Introduce myself, shake her hand and sit down. Immediately she's looking like "Damn, who's this guy" with that burning sexual thing in her eyes. I'm already sold at this point. We discuss something light at first. Her passion is psychology, we discuss that a bit. Then as we've moved into travel topics she mentions something about wanting to go in to the jungle in Thailand to try "herbal drinks"

The way she says it in Finnish immediately tells me that on some level she's into trees. So I DHV (god I hate that term) her my Laos story where I did exactly that: drank an herbal drink and tripped my balls off. She's mezmerized and I'm like fuck yeah because I'm totally into that type of stuff. I try to tell my story super calm though because sometimes I get carried away.

But she seems like she could listen to my stories all day. This usually NEVER happens to me on dates. I usually end up dampening my personality and filtering a lot, basically feeling very self-concious. None of that now. So I'm excited. Finally a cool chick. We cover some more related topics, mindfulness, meditation and psychedelics. I even tell her I'd like to try Ayahuasca some day. She doesn't know what it is, I explain it to her and she... writes it down.

So then she's like "Boy this reading is really fucking boring" I play my 'line' from the other day about libraries being good date places vs coffee shops. But still ask her "Wanna go somewhere" "Sure"

I'm parked right outside again and as we walk out I tell her come, I need to go put more time to the parking thing. She comes with and as we approach the car I tell her "Oh actually let's just drive there so that I don't have to walk with these sticks" She is a bit reluctant and says something about her mother's advice which escapes me now. I just tell her "It's cool, it's right around the corner" She still wants to walk. I go "naa it's okay I won't bite come on" and just get in the car myself. Predictably she follows. My car is messy and I broke out my second sick library-game line "Sorry my car is a bit messy but I wasn't exactly planning on driving around any pretty girls today" Lame I know but for some reason they seem to love it.

At the coffee shop we sit outside. This is actually bad because now she's wearing sunglasses and so am I. So no eye-contact. Immediately we dive into topics which are normally totally out of bounds: religion, politics, more about drugs etc. We seem to agree on everything. I even try to hold off not agreeing to everything she's saying by just nodding along. At this point I'm starting to feel it.

Oneitis is coming and strong. The coversation ends and she wants to go back to the library to continue her studies. I shake her hand like a fucking moron (notice zero kino so far) and tell her it was nice meeting her. I take her number and she gives it smiling. I say it would be nice to see you again and she agrees without hesitation.

I tell her I'm going back to the library as well. But I don't want to run into her again so I just go to my car and drive home (she wants to walk back). The whole ride home oneitis gets stronger and stronger. I think to myself "I actually really like this girl; oh fuck that's when things always go wrong. And. Yea. So they do.

After about an hour I whatsapp her pretty enthusiastically about it being nice to meet her and that I'd like to meet her again. She responds relatively quickly but not quite as enthusiastically. Already at this point I'm like fuck... I got too excited probably and it's over (that RSDJeffy's "Well it was nice to meet you" and a hearty handshake chode blowout comes to mind). I almost can't sleep that night thinking about how awesome she was. Pathetic, I know.

Next day (today) I'm busy during the day with my previous story. I still whatsapp HB8 though because I want to see her for a second time. She doesn't respond until tonight. Apologises not being able to respond due to being at work but that she can't hang tomorrow, she's busy.

I wait a bit and go "All right, how's your weekend looking" she logs on a few times but ignores my message.

Improvements to be made: combat scarcity by taking even more action and cultivating momentum and larger volume. Not burning my leads so goddamn fast. Burned about 10 of them since I started less than 2 weeks ago. Also try to listen to Tolle again to get more of a positive outlook on things. Kino and escalate more (already did today). This one just felt like she'd be uncomfortable with it. Next time find out by actually doing it.