Just a story of what happened and why I think the techniques worked. I hope someone finds this helpful. These are just an example of using demonstration of higher value and push/pull.

So I have this fwb. But she started to feel like dating material and it appeared she was feeling the same way about me. Every time we hung out we had sex. We never just chilled.

Well we made plans to catch a movie one night. I was getting ready and got a text saying she wasnt going. This was her pulling away. In response I said im going anyway and if she changed her mind I'll see her there. Also I said. if she wants me to come say hi while im in town, I can, but im gonna leave her alone now.

In conveying I will be going to the movies regardless it showed I was not dependent on her and subliminally stated that I will be by her place regardless. In saying I can visit it showed flexibility in planning and in saying I'll leave her alone now, it gave her room to breath. By continuing the chase I was pushing back I guess.

Omw to the movies she starts texting about family troubles and how much shes crying. I told her she was a good person and that if she needs a shoulder I will be near her place anyway. After this she goes cold. When nearing her house I say im 10 minutes away if she wants me to stop by omw to the movies then let me know. She said to visit so I did.

By placing myself near her location it made it easier to visit because I was "in town anyway" The fact that I was cool with her flake it may have made her not feel so bad about flaking. When I got there we talked. She vented. I listened. We did end up going out that night. When dropping her off I asked to watch tv. She invited me in.

This girl was still really bad off emotionally and was super sleepy so after realizing I was a hindrance to her sleep I said im gonna go. Then she started looking at my crotch and grabbing me butt but this time she looked forced. It was like she felt she had to please me. While normally I would have returned the favor I just hugged her and told her to get some sleep and kissed her. I was hoping to create tension by pulling away and seeing if she pushed back.

When I did this she looked relieved. It was a demonstration of higher value because it showed her that I care about her and not just her body. It showed that we can hang out and not have sex every time. Also when I left it created tension because no sex happened. This was out of the ordinary for us.

So im driving home and my phone starts blowing up. The move worked. When I get home I text back. We talked for a good while and she talked about how she thought of me as more than fwb and I related the feeling.

So when doing push/pull I have found that it's a 2 way street. When one pulls the other pushes and vice versa. If you just pushing she may be overwhelmed and in pulling she says "wait a minute I better push in case he pulls away too much. " when I demonstrated higher value and at the same time pulled away it made her want me a little more than before. It's like if you were going to sell a piece of land but then you found a little piece of gold. It may be the only piece of gold in the land. But if you sell it you cant be sure. Therefore you dont sell and do a little more digging because you dont want to be the one that sells gold for dirt cheap.