I've been lurking in /r/seddit for a while now, but I thought it was time for me to write my first field report.

Friday night I went out with a group of friends to celebrate a birthday. It was an even mix of girls and guys, and all but one of the girls were fairly attractive. We went out to dinner and then to a local blues bar for drinks and dancing. I made up my mind on my way to dinner that I was going to be the alpha male of the group and it ended up great.

To give you a quick piece of background, I've been an AFC all my life. I stutter and have some self-esteem and anxiety issues, so in situations such as these I'd normally only speak to the people I know or watch people dance from the sidelines. Nevertheless, my girl friends have recently been telling me gossip about how a lot of our mutual friends view me as an attractive, successful male. That probably played a part in my behavior on Friday, but I think it also had a lot to do with the fact that I'm simply tired of being the guy in the corner daydreaming about girls.

In any case, I got to dinner earlier than most and greeted every girl that came in warmly. I introduced myself to everyone and generally acted confident and almost cheesy, but it seemed to go over really well. When we moved to the blues bar, I immediately grabbed the birthday girl for a dance and I stayed on the dance floor for the rest of the night, minus times for drinks. I am horrible at dancing, but I fought through the awkwardness and made a ton of self-deprecating jokes. I had a ton of fun and was hit on by nearly every girl in our party and by a couple strangers on the dance floor.

What I was fascinated by was how easily the other men acquiesced to my role. Many of the other guys looked like they would have fit the role a lot better than me, including an active duty Coast Guardsman, but I was the one that all the girls wanted to be around. I felt really insecure at times, but I pushed through it and kept on asking girls for a dance. In comparison, most of the other men had to be encouraged to dance or refused outright.

I know this pales in comparison to some of the more seasoned sedditors' experiences, but it was my first time pushing through my anxiety and being the focal point of the party, other than the birthday girl. Of course, the next day I was really skittish and failed to approach a HB8 at a friend's house, so I obviously have a lot to learn and work through.

TL;DR-- First time trying to be the alpha male at a friend's birthday party went over really well. Pushed through my awkwardness and anxiety to have a really nice time dancing and flirting with women. I was surprised how easy it was to take that role. I still have a lot to learn, especially in regards to consistency and remaining confident in different situations.