I buy a ticket last minute, to a concert full of DJ names I’ve never heard of, just to go out and do something with a group of friends. I go out with two goals:

  1. Open as many sets as possible
  2. Have fun

We meet at my friend’s house and I make a special effort to be really friendly to everyone as they arrive. I hug everyone and introduce myself to anyone new. I’ve met these people before but always felt self-conscious and beta. This time I focus on eye contact, big smiles, and good posture more than anything else.

We arrive early to the venue and anyone there sees me, my friend and his harem of seven girls that came with us. We start dancing on a relatively empty floor. I’m already in a good mood because we have some cute girls with us.

As the first bands start coming on I look around and see a two set next to me. I start thinking about what to say to them and probably look over too many times. Eventually, one of the girls “accidentally” bumps into me. I say hi and she says “you should go dance with my friend.” I give the girl some shit and then go to her friend and say “your friend is trying to recruit me.” She seems less interested, or more shy. I dance with the recruiter for a bit, she escalates kino, and I realize I need to get out of there because I’m not really that into her and I’m getting all the signals for a k-close. I leave the dance floor.

I hit on the bartender by making fun of her leopard print pants “don’t you know they’re endangered!!” and then I open some random dude just to try to get in the swing of things.

I walk around the venue and don’t see a lot of opportunities for approach. In a place like this, it’s harder to get auto-blown out for being the guy walking around not talking to anyone but it doesn’t help to do that either. The fact that I don’t open anyone for several minutes means I don’t have the right attitude. I’ve decided the antidote is: open everyone. Guys, girls, whatever that way I can never have an excuse.

Eventually I see a girl standing by herself on the balcony. “This is the best view in the place!” I open. We talk about snapchat, she tells me she’s there with a dude but I intuit that he’s her wannabe BF. We make a bet about the gender of one of the DJs and she wins. Her friend comes back and I try to be as friendly as possible to him. Then they eventually wander off. I realize in retrospect that I should have gotten her snapchat or phone number as soon as it was relevant. The exchange would have been over before her friend came back. The excuse in my head was “I’m not sure she’s attractive enough to take the risk.” Now that I see how illogical the excuse is on text I can tell myself “You’re doing this for practice. Get everyone’s contact info just to practice doing it.” and also “what fucking risk?”

I walk around some more and end up back on the dance floor with the group I came with. I always try to position myself in front of them so I’m not like every other guy who’s coming up behind and trying to grind. I turn around and suddenly I’m grinding with one of the girls we came with. I’m trying not to be a caveman about it but several times she grabs my hands and forcefully shows me where to put them on her. Eventually, I get the message. She gets in really close and I start wondering about the k-close. I’m not clear on what her relationship is with my guy friend and I don’t want to burn that bridge. I don’t know if grinding is really IOI/kino in the context of a concert and while on molly. So, I keep grinding, keep my face really close to hers... and she kisses me. Win.

We make out for a little while and then she says something that really baffles me. “If you’re not into this, we can stop.” To which I try to respond as cool as possible “Oh no, I’m into this.” We make out a little while longer. She pulls another girl over and now it’s a three person grind sesh with her in the middle, new girl in front, and my hands on the new girl. My friend is indifferent about the exchange, concert ends.

On the taxi ride back the girls are talking about one of the guys on the dance floor. "Omg that guy was such a creep... but he was so hot, like Tarzan." This girl had basically been dancing with a euro version of Tarzan on and off for the last hour but then talked about how creepy he was with her friends. I don't know if this was to try to save face or what. It was like she slowly started seeing all the red flags - "he was there by himself too, I don't think he had friends there..." and her friends were trying to find justifications "oh, he's probably just traveling alone... that's normal." The point is that this guy was (to me) creepy as all fuck under any other circumstance but had a jawline and a posture that you wouldn't want to compete with thus everyone was making justifications. Had he said anything interesting or fielded the friends question he may have been invited to an 'after party' with this girl.

We go back to my friends and I walk a different girl to her car. She offers to drive me to get food, we chat for awhile and then she throws the “why don’t you have a girlfriend?” at me. I recognize this as an unanswerable shit test question but don’t have a response ready and say something boring like “i’m not interested in commitment.” After reading a thread on seddit next time I will say “because their moms keep falling in love with me.” My answer seems good enough but then she asks me when my birthday is... “oh it’s because you’re a sagittarius, me too” I try to keep a straight face through her astrology bullshit but sort of shut down as far as being attracted to her. Night ends.

Questions

  • I’ve heard that making out isn’t a big deal for girls but I’ve had mixed experiences. Thoughts on this? This is basically a party girl, does making out at a concert mean anything to her?

  • Ways to improve my FR for the best feedback from seddit?

Lessons / Mantras for next time

  • You get the adventure you’re open to. This could be a lesson of every FR.
  • Open everyone. No excuses.
  • Get number (or snapchat username) as soon as it’s relevant
  • Don’t look around. If you make eye contact, open. If you bump into someone, open. Otherwise it's really really obvious that you're looking.
  • Cool male guy friends are priceless

tl;dr opened a bartender, some dude, and a girl on the balcony. a random girl opened me, a girl we came with k-closed me and another girl was interested but I dropped the ball on her shit test and then decided I wasn’t interested enough.