I can honestly say that this is the worst I have felt in a long while. It's saturday night and I'm usually home alone, getting high and spending time on PC. Generally, I don't blame myself as much as you'd expect, but I'm not happy with my lack of social life, and I'm starting to feel more and more like I'm trapped.

Anyway, tonight, I didn't have anything to do so I got high, put the speakers on and went for a walk. As I was walking past a crowded street, this girl starts walking right next to me and I had no idea what was happening. I'm usually well functional when I smoke marijuana, socially speaking, I don't behave differently, but it felt like at this rare moment of interaction I was having with someone my age of the opposing sex, I was utterly oblivious as to how to behave and what was going on. She was euphoric and kept saying how happy she was that she moved to the city. And I didn't know what to say. I had this conversation going in my head as to how to talk to women and it always seemed so smooth inside, as I imagine most of you can empathize, but, as I feared, in reality, it was much harder to come by right words, as I was in quite a shock while we were walking and talking. It went badly from my end, I was really awkward and couldn't express myself and kept saying all those wrong little things. After about a minute, not more, she stopped, said farewell and went into her building, which happened to be right there. I just went ahead trying to process what just happened, and after another minute or so, I realize what foolish thing I've done.

I consider myself attractive and I get compliments all the time and I'm pretty much aware of what I did and why it had to happen like that. I dug myself a hole which I can't seem to get out of, even when the opportunity arises.

Anyway, this was just a rant, I'd like to see someone's opinion on this, but I can't help but feel like the most swollen asshole in the world cause of how I acted. And this isn't the first time something like this happened.