This is my first field report so I appreciate the feedback.

I had one of the biggest nights not based on improvement but based more so on getting into state and recognizing certain things. I started the day off not wanting to go out at all although I knew there was a very high chance that I’d want to. Throughout the whole day I kept telling myself it wouldn’t be that fun. I found that what helped motivate me was the allure of alcohol (I’m trying to weed this out) and the alternative of wasting another night doing nothing. A big rule of mine now is that whenever I start to come up with excuses I try my hardest to act against them. Excuses are usually complete bullshit that we use to make ourselves feel better for not amounting to how we want to act.

I get to this place and we end up waiting in line for a while. I immediately strike up a conversation with the group of girls in front of us. This is just a warm up and in fact the first few sets of people I talk to are just warm ups for me also. I manage to escalate kino fairly subtly and start getting more comfortable with the night. When I get inside I immediately talk to another girl although she seems kind of boring so I decide to walk away. When I turn around and she’s going the same direction as me I neg her a bit by saying “Are you following me?” with a smirk on my face. She seems a little offended but I get a good laugh out of it. I talk to her later but am not genuinely interested. I wanted to see if it was possible to talk to someone who seemed to get offended or if they’d simply be shut off at this point.

Throughout the night whenever I see any girl I talk to them. It doesn’t really matter to me if they seem extremely attractive because for me it’s more of settling into the place and it’s fun learning about different people. I have a huge realization here: your opener is completely insignificant. I commented on how some girl looked fashion savy, told a girl to get off her phone, told a girl she and her friends needed to take off their jackets and went up to 2 (HB7, HB8) and had no idea what I was going to say so I cheersed their glasses against my pitcher and said I’d won by having the biggest drink. It wasn’t the smoothest thing I’ve ever said but I had an interesting realization here too. The one girl (HB8) that I was focused on stared at my eyes for a second to see if I was bullshitting. Now where in the past I would have felt eager to fill this, seemingly endless, void of silence with more words I instead looked her straight in the eyes and didn’t flicker at all. The set ended up not working but I was very satisfied that I got to a point where I felt no anxiety in silence and I was fairly confident I would be able to have another conversation with her easily (although I never did).

What kept me going through the night was that I was genuinely having an extremely fun time meeting all these people. I like to view people as extremely unique in their own way even if they don’t acknowledge it. Everyone has something that they love to do and has little quirks about them and for me there’s nothing more interesting than trying to find those things out. It was getting to the end of the night and I still hadn’t really been interested in anyone. I’d left multiple sets because I got bored of the conversation only to have these girls talk to me later. For me, this night was more about pushing through the negative thoughts, having fun and forcing myself into state.

At the end of the night, with about twenty minutes left (as my friend who was dd had informed me), I walked back inside from having a smoke and approached the first girl I saw (HB8). She was with a friend but my focus was on her so much that I didn’t even acknowledge the friend and before I know it I’m dancing with this girl in the middle of the club. I am pulling all sorts of ridiculous shit. I lift her over my head, put her on a table and pretty much motor boat her at one point. I make out heavy with this girl up until the point where I leave when I get her number. I’ve now set up a date with her this week. I guess it was a combination of the right time and the right momentum but either way I had a great night and best of all I feel like I learned a lot most importantly of which is the ability to have a good time despite my pre-conceived notions by forcing myself to approach until I'm comfortable.