This will be a very long FR, but I will try to make it as informative as possible, discussing particular techniques or mindset which worked for me. There will not be a tl;dr

Met a girl last year, A, in a taxivan we were sharing with mutual friends after a night at a club. I had actually been introduced to her and 2 other friends of hers (B & C. All 3 of them are not from my city) earlier in the night on the dancefloor by friend W. I was drunk and enjoying myself dancing, while they were mainly nursing their drinks without much dancing. I wasn't interested in their lower energy and after saying hello to them, I turned my back to them and kept dancing with my other friends.

The right move would have been to actively engage A, B and C, to bring their energy up and to get them dancing. This would have DHV by bringing them into my fun

At the end of the night, I find out that W has been kicked out of the club for being too drunk. I head outside to find her, her boyfriend X and my other friend Y waiting for me in a taxivan. Jump in and W is crying hysterically and apologising for ruining the night etc. I tell her to calm down and that we are going to another club. From previous experience, I know her crying is just for seeking attention and is bullshit.

When women are crying for bullshit reasons, don't bother asking if she is ok or try to reason with her. Tell her to calm down and then as a man, you solve whatever the issue is

I take my attention away from W and realise that my other friend Z is sitting at the back of the van with A, B and C. I'm drunk and I just start talking to them about random stuff and find out that the girls are from another city. I start making fun of them about their city and keep the conservation light and humorous.

Talk to girls like you would've when you were 5. Tease them. Have good body language and make it clear that its all in good fun

W needs to puke, so we stop the taxi and all of us get out. She goes off somewhere to puke with X looking after her. The rest of us are just standing around waiting. I start engaging A 1 on 1, more teasing and building attaction. We all start walking to go look for W and X. A mentions how it is colder in my city and that her heels are killing her feet. I give her my jacket and tell her that we will swap shoes. I tease her that I bet I can wear heels better than she can. My feet can't fit into her heels, so I tell her to give me back my shoes. I'll give her a piggy back ride instead. She jumps on my back. I haven't done any kino until now.

Don't ask if she wants something. Take the lead and just offer it

Bitches love piggy back rides. Good way to kino as well

W and X decide to go home. Y invites the rest of us over to her place to smoke up. I take A's hand and tell Y we're both down for it. A is super excited, but Z, B and C decide they're tired and want to go home instead. They convince A to go back with them. She does. I go back to Y's place to smoke and crash (I'm not interested in Y at all).

I should have engaged B and C more, to get them comfortable with me and consequently, comfortable with A being alone with me

In my drunkeness and excitement to smoke, I forgot to get A's number. Hit her up on Facebook later in the week to try to organise a meet up before she goes home. Too late, but I get her number. Tell her to hit me up when she is in town and I will do the same when I am over there (I actually go to her city occasionally for work). Some back and forth banter over text the next few weeks and then I taper off my texts because I have better things to do with my time.

I generally do not add girls I am interested in on Facebook. This prevents you from looking at their profile and getting too fixated and invested in them. In this case, I added her with the purpose of getting her number. Avoid and go for the number without Facebook

Texting without an end goal i.e. setting a date, is useless and I should not have done this. However, I never, ever, ever asked her how her day was or any stupid cliche shit like that. Don't use smileys.

3 months after meeting her, I had to go to her city for 2 days for work. Hit her up a few weeks before to get something set up for the 2nd night. She's receptive to the few ideas I throw out, but I did not set a concrete time and activity for her to say yes to. I didn't hear back from her and assumed she wasn't that interested so I didn't bother following up with her. I wasn't too concerned because I was still meeting women and going out on dates.

When asking her out, always give her a time, date and place that she can say yes or no to

Don't get too attached to any one particular woman. Keep meeting other women and have an abundance mentality

My first night over there, she actually texts me that she remembers I'm in town the next day. I reply that I'm already in town, but because I never heard back from her, I changed my flight to fly back on the afternoon of day 2, rather than spending the night and flying in the morning of day 3. I didn't want to meet her on that first night because I had work to do, but I didn't tell her that. I told her we'd go out the next time I was in town.

Show her that regardless of whether or not she responds to your invitation to go out, you are a busy man with shit to do. Don't tell her what that shit is though, keep her guessing

Be persistent and make sure your intentions are still known

I get occupied with my plates and soft next her. She sends me occasional snaps (none of which are NSFW or selfies) which I don't respond to. Catch up with Z before the new year, who mentions that A and B will be coming over in a few months for a rave, which Z and I are going to. Include her in my mass new year's text and get no response. I was looking to see if she would respond and bring up her trip. I don't double text and just let it be. Day before the rave, she sends me a snap of her at the airport. I text her to see what her schedule is while she's in town. No response. Again I don't double text and just let it be. I'll be meeting up with Z for predrinks before the rave, who will be with A & B, so I know I'll see her anyway.

Don't get needy with texts and seek her attention. If she doesn't respond, who cares? GFTOW

Meet them for predrinks, A looks genuinely excited to see me. It has been awhile since we have seen each other (a very briefly initial meet as well), so I know that I can't jump straight to comfort building with personal conversation. I need to go back to square one to rebuild attraction. Teasing and playful banter. Kino. We head over to the rave, which is a longer walk than she thought. Her heels are hard to walk in, so I tell her to walk without her shoes. She goes on about not doing that so I tell her to shut up and just get on my back.

Bitches love piggy back rides

She asks me to put her down because her dress is short and she thinks people can see her ass. I tease her that women can never make up their minds. We get to some stairs which I know she will complain about walking up, so I preempt her and just pick her up and carry her up the stairs. It takes her by surprise, but she pushes herself into my chest.

Raw caveman behavior. Show her your strength and physicality as a man. She wants to feel like she can be safe around you

We get to the rave and I just say "let's go further in" and lead her through the crowd to the front of the DJ stage.

Always be leading. Suggest, rather than ask

We've dropped, so shes dancing and I'm relaxed, enjoying my roll. A random guy comes up to her and motions for her to get on his shoulders. She looks at me with confusion. I just smile and tell her to get up on his shoulders, because I sure as hell am not ruining my roll by letting her get on mine. I'm not worried about the guy at all, and he actually ends up giving her a cap; she promptly turns around and gives it to me and I split it with her. The guy was oblivious. Stuff was quality. Later on she gets off his shoulders and he walks off. She just gets close to me and I hold her from behind, enjoying my roll.

Don't get jealous or possessive. You're the man she's leaving with. If she leaves with another guy, you just got outgamed. Work on yourself

We go get some water and on the way B gets approached by some guy we met earlier. I motion her with a thumbs up to see if she's good and she nods, so I tell A to leave B to have her fun. A goes to get water for us while I head to the toilet. On the way back I check my phone and see a text from a random number asking where I am. It's from A, who has a new number. Hence why my previous texts went unanswered.

Don't get too hung up if she doesn't return your texts. Could be for any reason; she might be busy, she might have a new number etc

B finds us in the crowd again and after a while I notice she starts looking uncomfortable and I know she needs water. I tell B we're going to get water together and tell A to follow us. A protests that she wants to stay and keep dancing, but I firmly say that B needs water and I am not going to lose either of them in the crowd at this point of the night after everything they have dropped, as it is my responsibility to get them home safely.

Make women feel safe and protected. Hold frame and be firm with your decisions

Nothing else happened that night as logistics weren't in my favor and we were all dead tired and coming down from our roll. I text her the next day and we make plans to meet before she goes home. I tell her to meet me at XX at YY time on ZZ day.

Don't ask her to meet you. Suggest/tell and let her say no

For the date, when we first saw each other, I went for the hug, picked her up and did a spin while playfully saying "I'm going to abduct you". *Sets the physical tone early and get her laughing** I took her to a bar overlooking the city, then we bounced to a tapas bar, then dessert place and a karaoke joint. Kino the entire time; hand on small of back, moving her by the waist etc. Always sitting/standing next to her to keep it easy to kino. Build comfort at this stage.

Bounce her to several locations during a date. It makes it seem as if you have gone on more than one date, and allows you to escalate further

After the dessert place, I randomly just said "I feel like singing, let's go to a karaoke joint". She protested a bit saying she wasn't going to sing for me. I just stood up, smiled, said "yeah, you are" and offered her my hand to leave together.

Always be leading

On the way to the karaoke joint, she started to thank me for the night so far. I stopped, turned around, hushed her with a finger on her lips and went for the kiss. She was more aggressive with the kiss than I was and I pulled back first to keep her wanting more. Asian style karaoke joint with private rooms. Sing a bit, then I look at her and go for another kiss. She turns away and I just snicker "okay" and go back to singing. She spends the next few minutes triangle gazing me and I just smile at her. When I sense that she can't take it anymore, I go back in for the kiss and get no resistance. I lift her up and get her to straddle me. Heavy make out session. Boner. Gets more intense.

You want to kiss her? Just go for it. Don't ask or say anything. Just go for it. She rejects you? Wait and try again later

Don't be embarrassed if you get a boner, own it. It'll turn her on knowing that she is the cause of it

I didn't bother with f-close because of logistics. Bad excuse in hindsight.

I probably screwed up here by getting her so worked up and not going for the f-close. Could've just gotten a hotel and called in sick for work the next day

I get home and I see that she has already texted me saying she had a lot of fun and thanking me for the night out. I go to sleep and respond the next day wishing her a safe trip home and to not be a stranger.

Probably a bad response text on my part. Any suggestions on better responses?

After this, I send her a snap or random banter text once a week to keep the lead open. A month back, I find out I need to go to her city again for a day for work. Normally I would fly in and out the same day, but I plan to escalate with A and spend the night. Send her a snap with my ticket details saying we're going out when I'm over. She texts me a few days later asking if I'm coming over to her city. I get confused because I know she saw my snap and she clarifies that she only saw the route details and missed the date of my flights. Tease her about not being able to read. I don't contact her at all for the next 2 weeks, then send her a text gauging her adventurousness and to get her thinking about what exciting things I have planned. She responds with some garbage about how she has no life over there, just working and studying. I sense a potential flake here, so I try to show some vulnerability here by opening up about my regrets when I was studying; I didn't go out and enjoy myself enough, and that she should worry about that when she's older. She agrees and it seems like all is on track for when I over there.

Might've gotten her thinking about the cock carousel

I don't contact her for another week. This time I set a definite time; come meet me at XX hotel at YY time. Wear ZZ, we are going for AA activity. She responds that she has to work and will be going to a party afterward. Fucking. Rejected. Fuck. Obviously I'm upset; she's known about my trip for a month and she knows I want to see her. She still makes other plans that don't include me anyway. I choose to be unreactive and reply "ok".

It is ok to feel certain emotions in response to something, you can't really control that. What you can control however, is how to REACT to those emotions. Be unreactive, and show her that she has no control over you

Soft next. She then asks how long I'm over for and I end up replying with "day x". I broke my soft next. Fuck. She responds wit ":(" and I leave it at that, thinking she may hit me up when I'm over anyway. She doesn't. I make plans to catch up with a cousin over there and end up having a good night anyway. Meet and bang a backpacker that I'll be seeing again when she is in my city in a couple of weeks, so it turned out ok in the end.

Don't get too invested in one woman. There are 3.5 billion other women on the planet. Find 10 of them. Fuck them

Long distance game is a losing game. Stick to local women that you can actually meet and maintain attraction with

Where I think I screwed up with A is that I may have come off as too eager by letting her know a month in advance, and potentially should have just let her know a few days before my trip. It also probably incongruent with how I texted her (showing distance). Thoughts?