So, hey guys, this is my very first field report (long time lurker, other mandatory bullshit, etc.)

I am 20 years old, not so experienced with girls (had like 3 girlfriends, no one-night stands, other 3 or 4 girls I have made out with), I have had self-esteem issues all my life despite fact that I am decent looking, quite intelligent and have a really muscular body (I am in my national judo team and I have 10 training sessions a week). So basically all my problems were (are?) psychological, probably caused by childhood issues, bullying, etc.

As of this years's October I haven't been with a girl for over half a year, and since then I have only spoken to very few and not even in a flirty way. In the beginning of October I have decided, that my own happiness is the number one priority and it is not dependent on girls or relationships, it is only me, who can make myself happy. I may have read it a few times previously, as I have been lurking around self-help websites for over a year now, but it just hit me very hard nowadays, how important it is actually.

So, with the help of Habitica (an RPG-like habit strenghtening website/app), I decided to improve every aspect of my life.

  • I started an appreciation journal
  • I stood 2 times a day in front of the mirror repeating "I love you, I love myself""Everything is okay with me""I am awesome", this kind of stuff
  • I started focusing even more energy on judo
  • I started talking a lot more to my friends
  • Eating fruits every day
  • Meditating every day

And so came November. After only a month I have already felt the difference. I may be a completely different person now, compared to the shadow, who I was in September (I have always had bad and good periods, but never by my own choice). As of November 1 I decided, that I should write up on girls and flirt with them, with no pressure, just for fun. 1 New Girl / Week (No tinder, as I haven't felt ready for it yet).

So, by this week I have been talking to 2 girls, and suddenly one mentions that her girlfriends thinks I am hot (my fb profile picture is me on a beach, my abs are visible). So, I accept her friend request and start talking to her. By day 2 she is sending me nudes. Okay, she probably just wants sex, but if I wasn't as confident and joking as I suddenly am, I am sure, there would be no result. She is not the hottest girl (like a 4.5/10), but for starters? Why not?

We met up with her and her girlfriend last night (Friday) at her girlfriend's flat, we start playing Poker. Every turn the losers lose one piece of clothing. I am in my boxers and T-shirt. They are in bra and panties. I lose, they demand to take my boxers off. 2 years, 6 months, hell maybe even a month ago I would have been a chicken, and it would have felt way too awkward for me to do it, but now I was like, why the hell not, what can I lose? I am confident in myself.

So there I am standing in front of 2 girls in their underwear, I am butt naked, but I am confident as hell, while they are really ashamed, feel somewhat awkward, don't know where to look, etc. One girl has a boyfriend (but the flat is hers - Lets call her A), the other girl is who thinks I am hot (B) (okay, at this point they both think I am hot :P). If I kiss A, I have equal chances of a threesome or she throwing me out of the flat. I decide to make my move for B as it seems like a safer alternative. I kiss her, while A is sitting on the couch, really shy, I think still bugged by my confidence. We make out with B, and then I say to A that she has 4 options:

    1. Join us
    1. Watch us
    1. Film us (humor factor!!)
    1. Leave the room, so we can do business.

After some hesitation she leaves the room, but whatever. We proceed to have sex with B. It was not good sex, it was bad sex - I didn't last long - even though I started doing Kegels, and started edging masturbation, and she was horrible, but it was okay.

I am confident and it will only get better.

So, opinions? :)

TL/DR From having no confidence to almost a threesome to my first one-night stand. Confidence and self-improvement is key :)

Edit: formatting, TLDR