First things first, I've been wearing my sharpest attire this week.

Why? People have been asking.

It's simply because nothing else seems to be working. Looking my best, I suppose, to help. A little. We're talking suit, tie, and swagger, here.

The Introduction

This FR starts with this one girl that lives on my dorm floor. Let's call her Lana. Yes, right there, that should be a double red flag. Yet, this is still where the FR starts. It's the truth, and it hurts.

I met this girl on an elevator, freshman move in day.

"Floor 2" the HB9 says, while entering the elevator.

"Hey, I'm on that floor too! I guess we're neighbors. I'm Captain_Unremarkable." I offer her a firm hand shake, and quickly notice this girl's disproportionately big and beautiful brown eyes to match her long brunette hair. This combined with here outwardly apparent intelligence and petite yet curvy body of a volleyball goddess, I'm sold.

Just then she surprises me with her sultry, low, crisp voice: "I think we have [this class] together! My advisor told me there was a guy named Captain_Unremarkable in my class."

She's right. We have this class together. Sweet! I'm in.

"Yeah?" I retort, teasingly, "Cool! So you already know a hot guy from your floor that's in your class!"

She chuckles before we part our ways. (Did I mention that her mother was helping her move in? Saying that took balls.)

Fast Forward to the Inevitable Heartbreaking Disaster

It's been 3 weeks at college.

We've had a couple odd encounters--and I do mean odd--since. One including me knocking on her door, and being shoo'd away by 4 girls changing for a toga party.

Whatever.

I'm standing in the shower-part of the bathroom, in my underwear. I'm deeply lost in thought, and not to mention still a little high from using a vape like 3 hours ago. In other words: I'm despondent as fuck, and thinking "How the fuck have I not had any good interactions with Lana? Is this girl just that evasive or what?" when a dude walks in.

I didn't recognize this dude. He clearly doesn't live on our floor, so he's probably visiting. I do, however, immediately recognize that this dude is more than a good looking guy; he's downright gorgeous. Model material we're talking about here. (And I say this as a completely straight guy.)

I strike up conversation. Talk to everyone, right?

I ask: "Hey. Visiting?" But I already knew he'd say yes. Here's the kicker: in that instant, too, I knew who he was visiting. I just fucking knew it. Motherfucker. It couldn't be.

"My girlfriend," he responds, casually, "Lana."

Fucking fuck. I just developed one-itis for a girl with a boyfriend who's practically the best looking dude I've ever seen. And he's standing right in front of me. And now he's disrobed about to enter a shower stall adjacent to mine. And fuck.

We proceed to have a good conversation about getting high and whatnot. I'm kicking myself mentally the entire time.

The Solution: Get Away, Get Out There

I realize the error of my ways. I just need to get out there.

The next day, I'm wearing my business uniform, because fuck everything is why. I run across a different girl from a different class. Actually, we just did a project together. I sit down with her, she introduces me to her friends. We engage in conversation over lunch, all the while I'm sure to make eye contact with this girl--we'll call her Sara--and tease her and use kino and all that good stuff.

Then, it's time to go: gotta get to class. She gets up with her friends, and I with them. Then, I pull her gently aside and say, "Hey, I hear you like Panera bread?" (She told me this the day before while doing said project together.) "What are you doing Thursday? Meet me there Thursday for a bit to eat!"

"I'll let you know," she responds with a polite smile.

I know what that meant. Thursday isn't happening.

I Give Up

I'm sitting here, Seddit, still dressed well, in a tie and Clark's Desert Boots and all that /r/malefashionadvice shit, frustrated and getting nowhere either in my schoolwork or sex life. What the fuck am I doing wrong?

TL;DR developed one-itis for a girl down the hall, then proceeded to run into her much-more-good looking-than-me boyfriend, in the shower of all places. Asked a different girl out to get out of said one-itis, and it didn't work.