Setting

On Thursday I hosted a party to commence the week of alcoholism that is Saint Patrick's Day (Thursday is the new Friday, don't ask.) Anyways, as someone who's never quite done the casual hookup scene, I found myself in a situation that leaves me speechless.

I was wandering around the party when I ran into a girl that I have a past with. Pretty attractive- I'm not a fan of the rating system but I'd say she's at least an 8.

Backstory

She's a journalism student and interviewed me about my job a couple of weeks ago. She invited me to her friend's birthday a few days after, and that night drunk me told drunk her I found her attractive- she kissed me and told me to contact her sometime before leaving.

A couple of days later she came by to follow up on the interview, and gave me the nickname "Rookie Blue." Considering I'm not even a cop, I don't know why, but I rolled with it. I noticed that she was a lot touchier and had no issues with me kissing her on the cheek. I'm not used to this at all, so I went along but assumed she was using me for self validation.

Field Report

Last night she showed up. I decide to let her approach me instead of making first contact. Eventually she finds me, gives me a punch on a shoulder, and hugs me. We shoot the shit before I go on my way. Things are good. A guy tries to pick her up and they start dancing. For some reason, comfortably drunk me decides to be an asshole and start talking to her friends, which is met with her coming back in 30 seconds before I go back to running the party. So guys hit on her, girls hit on me, and I am met with this animalistic urge inside of me to go over there, pick her up, and make her mine.

My mind holds me back. I'm still kicking myself for it. I wouldn't be doubting myself if we were both more sober.

Throughout the night I drop by, make some body contact, do some flirting, and then go back to more pressing matters. I start flirting with another girl, and try to kiss her. She turns away and tells me no. Considering I waited 30 seconds, I'm confident the issue was a lack of kino and lack of proper escalation.

Eventually I decide to go for food with my roommate. I run into her, we hug. We're both drunk as hell. She drags me back to the party, and my mind shuts off. I grab her around the waist, and tell her "You're mine. I want you."

She starts laughing. I shit you not, she laughs. I have no idea why and I'm taken aback. Drunk me ignores it and presses. "Well?"

She puts her hands on my shoulders, around my neck, and pulls in. Foreheads contact. I kiss her. She says, "There's your answer, Rookie Blue." before disappearing back into the party. My mind blanks and apparently I was not good conversation at McDonalds. I should have taken her upstairs to my room, but I just freaked out and needed space.

Reflection

I honestly feel like she's a tease, but I'm having a rough time with this transition from dating someone to having casual hookups. We both made out with different people yet there's this animalistic jealousy in me over not acting faster. That or I'm completely dense as to her attraction to me. Either way, I see her a couple more times this week and I'm not entirely sure what the hell to do. I spent tonight trying to figure out just what she meant, and I really can't believe that she'd find me attractive.

My best friend says she thinks she's bad news all around, for what it's worth.

TL:DR

TL:DR- I don't know why I'm emotionally invested in a potential casual hookup (actually yes I do) and I'm convinced she's a tease.