Hi everybody, this is my first time posting here but I have been reading seddit for about a month now taking in all that it has to offer and I wanted to share an experience I had last night that really made me feel like I can go out and talk to girl now.

I short background on me. I'm 24, thin and I have been at least told I'm considered an attractive guy though that's up for debate for anybody I know. All of my girlfriends were good friends first and every time a relationship ended I dated her best friend and the chain continued. I know that's a risky thing to do. Anyway, my most recent girl I dated for 5 years and it ended and now I'm sitting here having to go out and meet new people. This whole go to bars/clubs and talk to girls thing is something I have never done and for 3 months now I have had nothing but endless night of going out and not talking to anyone.

On to last night. I have had my fair share of friends who played wing man for me and the basic idea of what usually happens is I stand there, they go find a single girl and pretty much thrust her at me. This has worked sometimes and I have at least gotten as far as a K-close but it always felt forced. My ability to just spark up conversations was weak; the idea of using kino at all was scaring the crap out of me and the girls always seemed a little startled at the sudden situation my friends put them in. Then I found a guy who gave me some tough love and it worked!

It was another typical night, I stand in the club with a couple of friends smoking a hookah and looking at all of the beautiful women around that I dont have the balls to talk to. Finally, this guy I met a few weeks back said enough is enough, we are going upstairs and you are going to talk to a girl and get one to dance with you. This club is a fancy bar downstairs and a dance floor upstairs. I wasn't thrilled but I got the mind set of screw it, I might as well. We go up and take a shot and a drink to sip on and we walk up to a group of HB8 Brazilian girls. My buddy just starts talking and I stand there quiet as a mouse and one of the girls even said, "you're quiet, does he do enough talking for the both of you"? I am mentally kicking my ass at this point because less than a minute later we went back down stairs. My buddy says to me he wanted me to interrupt him and open my mouth. I said I had no clue what to say. A few minutes later that group came downstairs and one of the girls came back to talk to us. This is where it got unusual. My buddy says to the girl that I am horrible at talking to women and he wants her to just have a conversation with me and help me out. She and I introduce ourselves and then I hit a wall of nothing to say. The girl smiled and said "ok, see? you hit a wall and dont know what to do next, just change the subject because girls dont care about transitions, they just want to talk and have fun". I then go off on a few tangents with her and she keeps smiling until finally she gets really close to me and only talks in my ear. At this point I just got brave and tried a little kino on her for the lulz. I put my hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer, I brushed her cheek a few times, put my hand on her forearm and she was all into it. Before she left she said she thought I was adorable and just stared at me so I went in for the kiss and she welcomed it. After my buddy said "see? did you die? did the planet explode"? I couldnt believe it worked.

I thought that would be it but then my buddy says we are going back upstairs and I am dancing with someone. We go up and he tells me he is going to pick a girl and I am going to walk up, put my hand on the small of her back and say "excuse me miss, would you like to dance"? He explained that most girls don't want you to just walk up and hump them out of nowhere, that they wanted to be respected. I have heard both sides of that theory but I decided to just take his word for it. He picked a girl and without thinking twice I walked up and followed his advice. The girl agreed to dance with me but I learned I wasn't the best at it. I basically swayed with her with my hand on her waist and my spilling drink in the other hand. My buddy sneaked up out of nowhere and took my drink then told me to put my arm all the way around her and put my mouth close to her neck, then he walked away again. The reaction was nothing but positive with her and we danced for a bit before her friends stole her away.

At the end of the night my buddy explained that I need to stop giving a fuck and just be myself and be casual. The moral of the story here is a found a wing man that was willing to teach me something. He didn't do the whole "hey my friend is single and thinks you're hot" thing. If you are like me and still having trouble just approaching a girl at all, try to find a good wing man that will teach you something and make you do the work yourself. I may not have done any cold approaches yet but after being forced to do the work myself rather than have a girl thrown at me, I feel a lot more confident about how tonight will go. Thanks for reading, any feedback about anything is certainly welcome.