Here's le link to le podcast.

In one experiment discussed in the podcast a person was given a Barry Manilow t-shirt, then told to go into a room with a few other people to fill out some forms. He's the last one in, the person in charge says he's late but can get started. A few minutes later the person in charge says actually he's too late and is asked to leave the room and move on to another task. There isn't actually another task. Once out of the room he's asked to predict how many people will have noticed the shirt he's wearing. Naturally, he thinks everyone is aware of the oversized, ill fitting shirt with a giant picture of Barry Manilow. In fact, no one else noticed it.

I think this is a great reminder that being self conscious about something has little to do with whether or not anyone else is even noticing it or judging you for it.

Pretty much every guy has had interactions where he's at a loss for things to say and he starts thinking "Fuck! This is getting awkward. She's waiting for you to say something! Shit! It's worse! The silence is just getting more awkward! She hates you now! AHHHH! EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!"

But, what's going on in the girl's head (not always, but often enough if you opened well) is "Oh shit, I'm supposed to say something here, aren't I? Crap! I don't know what to say? Oh my god, it's getting awkward now. Come on, just think of something to say! Oh no, he's going to leave, he's going to leave, shit, I'm not that boring! I swear! Nooo, he's gone!"

There's more in the podcast than that, and I suggest listening to the whole thing if for no other reason than it's pretty damn interesting and the most interesting things you have in your head the less likely you are to be boring in conversation.