With a ten-month relationship behind me, I recently decided that it was time to make the most out of my time in college and become the best person that I can be—physically, intellectually, mentally, and sexually. In this post I discuss both hugely successful and tragically unsuccessful experiences approaching. All cases (except for maybe the last) are exclusively day game. Anything with an asterisk (*) corresponds to some request for advice. Abiding by the rules, I will make an AskSeddit post with my questions shortly after this.
Case 1: She stopped by my library help desk to get some remote control device fixed. Radiant smile, earrings that complimented her hair, playful, and beautiful. Indirect opener, social media close.
+ Rather than sit at the desk talking to her, I took her for a walk around the library to, "test the connection." This allowed for a more lively conversation and passing the remote around allowed for some kino (pats on the back, grazing hands).
+ Made her laugh. In my experience, making the girl laugh guarantees some close.
+ Connected on some conversation topics. This helped me have some more to talk about when texting her later.
+ She responded well to texts. I set a nickname for her on Facebook, and she set one back for me. The nickname was also an IOI for her being impressed by my polyglotism.
+ Set up a date, got a concussion the day before we could meet (this one is legit). Unfortunately killed the momentum.
– When I first started talking to her, I asked a lot of interview-style questions (what's your major?, etc).
– Her "phone [was] broken", so I couldn't number close her.
– I had lengthy text conversations with her—should have made those incentives to not flake.
– Flaked both times I tried scheduling another date. I definitely lost value by being too transparent and interview-y while texting.
± We continue to text each other (lightly) to this day, but I think she's just keeping me around because she enjoys having a guy who speaks Japanese interested in her. Lately I have been snapping pictures with other girls, and she's been texting me a bit more. We had a short Snap streak that I accidentally broke today.*
Case 2*: Cold approach at the library. Great fashion; slender, fit body. Stunning. Direct opener. Number close.
+ Walked up to her from the side, and she looked up at me. "Hey, I just wanted to say that you're beautiful." -pause- "May I have a seat?"
+ Great conversation flow; we spoke for 30-40 minutes before she had to go to class. Slipped in some kino (lightly grabbing her arm when emphasizing a point, quickly rubbing her back). Minor miss: I should have ended the conversation before she did.
+ Set up a date for Sunday to watch a meteor shower (turns out this is a great date idea), and she was going to "sneak out" during her friend's birthday party to come with me.
+ When number closing: used a technique I read here where I call my phone with hers, and we chat using each others' phones. Smooth stuff. This helped me call her later that night.
+ Texts at night were super flirty. Called her a penguin without telling her why and made it her nickname. She chased after that.
– Cancelled date because she didn't realize her friend's birthday party was held in some place three hours away. Sigh, okay fine. I tried to reschedule date right when she cancelled. This definitely came across as beta.
– The past two texts she sent me have been two days after I send mine.
Case 3: She was eating outdoors by herself at around 10PM. Pretty face; attractive, confident attitude. Direct opener. No close.
+ "Hey, I know it's late and this might be weird, but I just wanted to let you know that you're beautiful. I gotta head home soon, but may I join you for a bit?" Since it was late, I feel like the time constraint was nice to make things less creepy.
– Meh conversation. I didn't take the lead very well because I couldn't come up with things to say, and I wasn't able to make her laugh.
± Super encouraging rejection. I asked about how we could keep in touch. "I can give you my number, but I want to let you know that I'm not looking for anything." In response, I said, "Thank you for being honest with me. I hope you have a great evening," and left without taking her number. Her final words were, "That was really nice, though. You should keep doing that (that referring to direct approaching)."
Case 4: Approached on the way to the gym. Really cute. Indirect > Direct opener. Social media close.
+ Walking under some premature Christmas lights, I call out and say, "Don't you wish they kept these year round?" She reciprocates positively. I have nothing else to say, so I just go, "I just wanted to let you know that I think you're really cute." To which she responds, "Thanks! I think you're pretty cute, too." I celebrated a little on the inside.
+ I do a great job flirting with her, saying cocky/cheesy stuff. For example, after she adds me on Snapchat using the QR code, I start, "Wow, maybe it was meant to be." "You're so cheesy!" "Nah, I'm lactose intolerant." "Oh you are? That sucks." "I got over it, but you're making me relapse." It doesn't even make sense, but the beautiful thing is that it doesn't have to.
+ In less than 5 minutes of talking, I manage to set up a date for the next evening.
– She cancels the date the next morning. First she says that she doesn't want to walk all the way out at night. I offer to meet her half way and walk her. Then she asks if she can bring friends. I wait to respond. An hour later, she calls it off, blaming the bad air in California. *
Case 5: Met a girl rolling at a rave. I'm always clean and sober. I just ask to see if she's okay, and the next moment, she's in my arms.
+ After dancing on each other for a little, I pull her close and say, "You're pretty cute." "I think you're cute, too." My hair is fucked up, I'm sweaty from dancing, and I'm not physically buff by any means. The lesson here is that having fun (I absolutely loved the music) and wearing a genuine smile will go a long way.
+ I make it a huge point to get along with her friends, during and after the rave. Telling her and her friends that I was clean and sober, and kindly rejecting their drugs garnered a lot of trust. I introduce myself to everyone she talks to, and try to make some small talk about their hobbies or interests. They invite me to watch a movie at a friend's apartment.
+ We make out, and I'm intimately touching her underneath sheets while the movie's going on.*
– As she was coming down from rolling, she kind of lost energy and with that, her peak level of investment with me.*
– I couldn't pull her back to my place because she wasn't feeling well from rolling. I don't see this as a rejection, though.
I have yet to f-close, so it's a little frustrating, but I feel improvement every time I put myself out there. Many thanks to the members of this community for inspiring me to be the best version of myself. Please point out anything that you guys like or dislike. I do not have a friend to whom I can discuss this with, so please do give constructive criticism where it is due!
If anyone is interested, I can also write about my inner game stuff and practice routine, but this post is long enough as is.
Questions: right here
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