Frustrated Virgin

Eezay · 2019-11-19T11:26:53+00:00

It's obviously not as simple as flipping a switch and then you're good to go. There are a lot of variables coming into play here, however I want to give you some food for thought.

1) Take sex off the pedestal. That's right, I speak from experience as I also lost my virginity at 19 y/o. Sex is... just sex. It's a completely normal thing to most people. Speak openly about it, act like it's no big deal. Stop seeing yourself as a special snowflake because you are a virgin. You are not. Nobody cares, except yourself.

2) INTENT! Be sure of your intent right away. If you get introduced to a girl you would fuck, cherish that thought! Don't feel guilty for your desire, but instead capitalize on it. Start seeing girls as sexual beings that have strong desires, just as you have. It's not magically going to fix your problem, but a trick I often use to capitalize on my intent is to actually imagine myself fucking the girl I am flirting with during conversation. This mostly helps with subcommunicating your sexual desire. Another thing to do is sexualize the conversation. Obviously this is not always explicit, you don't go up to her and ask her about her sex life, but what you want to do is to make sure she sees you as a sexual being, so just sometimes steer the conversation into boundaries where you talk about sexual topics. This is actually quite easy (just a quick example):

Y: Are you more the type for summer or winter holiday? G: I went to XYZ-beach this summer haha I like it warm! Y: Working on those tanlines huh? / Yeah me too, honestly I just love being tan in the summer.

Looks innocent, but this will probably plant an image in her head where she is barely clothed which she then connects with you who is making conversation with her. Simple, yet effective. Note that this was just a really quick example - it is of course a bit more nuanced and situational in real life.

3) Stop watching porn. Canalize your sexual energy onto real girls.

4) If you really want to go deep and learn seduction from the bottom up, buy a book. There are some recommended in the sidebar, I personally find 'Models' by Mark Manson to be a fantastic book for any beginner.

undeadko · 2019-11-19T09:18:15+00:00

1) Stop calling them "females"

2) Keep talking to them and kind of friendzone them. By doing so you should be able to lower your guard and open up more. Therefore, you will talk about anything with them - sex, drugs, alcohol, video games, your job, your studies, hobbies, etc.

Then they connect with you. The real you... not the persona who is trying to seduce them. From there, it is her move. Look for it. If you start spending more time together - great! Have a good time! Plenty of eye contact? Nice. Introduce some alcohol or whatever it is that makes her loosen up a bit. Usually they like wine. If she accepts, it is basically a waiting game from here on.

Eventually, you are going to sleep together. Now you are going to get a relationship. God help you here, you poor bastard.

burnera1013 · 2019-11-19T06:07:12+00:00

Answered a similar question to this. Basically just copy and paste bc same advice applies. One thing that stood out to me in that paragraph is that you have a social circle of friends and girls and the see you as just a friend. How do you know this have you asked? Odds are that one of them likes or has liked you before. Even if it is true that they all just want you as a friend ask them to set you up with their friends. Girls may not give good advice at getting women but they are the best wingmen.

As you havent said anything about ur game it seems to me like ur getting in ur own way. Hate to be harsh but you need to hear it no one and I mean no one can’t get laid. You simply aren’t putting in the effort guaranteed. I don’t even need to meet you to know that your low self esteem is a major problem you don’t think your good enough. You assume girls wanna be just friends contrary to believing that all girls wanna be with you its a self fulfilling prohecy.

My advice is to get really good at a skill this won’t build confidence with women specifically but it’ll teach you that effort=results. You clearly don’t want it enough, you gotta have an internal locus of control the only persons actions you can control are yourself if you really wanted it you’d find a way. The fact that you are making it seem like getting laid is hard is whats making it hard. With all this theory and mindsets the only way ur gna get laid is to go out as often as you possibly can and talk to women and I mean don’t say hi and leave, literally burn it to the ground if necessary. Have a goal of talking to 20 women a night just be urself and have a regular convo and eventually try to escalate/ kiss and go from there. Weird advice but I would honestly say don’t read or get caught up in all the pick advice on this sub rn it’ll only confuse you. TAKE ACTION. Its the only way pal. No advice on this sub will save you, no one can help you only you can help yourself.The only other advice I can give is to tell a close guy friend and make him hold you accountable for talking to women.

Edit: Maximize everything physical you can Looks(get a haircut, wash face), Clothes( get clothes that fit to your body), workout. Ask ur guy friends how you look honestly. The only way to build confidence in literally anything is to try fail, and try again a DIFFERENT way. You’re in college these girls are not looking for a put together guy you just need to be able to hold a conversation and if it seems well make a move. Since ur a virgin basically if the conversation is going well kiss her talk a little more and then say lets go back it’s important that you don’t ask but tell her and say this with confidence bc she’ll be able to tell if there’s hesitation. Do not be worried abt being awk or bad its college most of the guys she’ll sleep with aren’t gna be doing any better trust me. And since ur a beginner its all an odds game if ur afraid to fail often and hard you won’t get laid. Now get off this sub and go out and talk to girls.

Edit: Idk anything ab ur campus but yea drinking obviously helps. Frats help a lot if you’re into that in terms of that they expose you to a lot of women and give you a larger male perspective.

Sorry for long post

Title	Frustrated Virgin
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	November 19, 2019 5:43 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dyg89m/frustrated_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/frustrated-virgin.1484184 https://theredarchive.com/post/1484184

Comments