Fucking hate myself

themanbat · 2014-09-16T02:32:27+00:00

Sounds like you need to wake the fuck up and remember what makes you awesome. Don't remember ever being awesome? There was a time before you learned all about fear and inhibitions. You were probably just a kid, maybe even a toddler, but you weren't scared of people. You saw someone interesting, you walked right over and said, "What's up kid? Let's go play in the sandbox." What was the worst that would happen? Kid doesn't want to go play in the sandbox. So go play in the sandbox alone. Or go try the swings instead.

Still can't remember being awesome? Then it's time to become awesome. Go someplace where you know no one will recognize you. Put on a disguise if it makes you feel better. Make up a new name for yourself, and go be a new person. Heck try a British accent. Chicks love a guy with an accent. Now go walk up to a hot chick and say Hello. You are just acting. No need to be embarrassed. You aren't you. What do you say to them? Ask them what's great about America. Say you're new in town and would love to go on a date with a real American girl. Say they've got smashing great teats. Absolutely brilliant. It doesn't matter what you say. Just have fun.

Why are you afraid of women? That's right afraid. Shyness is fear. Are they violent? Do you think they are going to kick your ass? You're a man. If anything she should be afraid of you. But she won't be afraid. Because once you forget your fear, you'll be quite charming. I'll bet you're absolutely delightful around your friends. Well these ladies are your friends. They just don't know it yet.

Oh no. Now you feel all those ridiculous insecurities rushing back upon you all at once. I'm not as handsome as I could be. If only I were a little taller. If only I drove a Lamborghini girls would like me. Okay, then. Bam. I just made you more handsome. Taller. And you drive that car. Go play the part. Most girls don't care about anything but confidence. Confidence is free, and you can go out there and be confident today.

Don't fear rejection. Go out there with rejection as your goal. Then don't be surprised if you fail, because girls hate rejecting guys just as much as you hate asking them out.

Still afraid? You now have the chance to be courageous. Acting without fear is no big deal. Acting in the presence of fear is what make men heroes. No time to be a hero like the present.

JeffAnderson · 2014-09-15T21:20:01+00:00

I've felt like this before, look, this shit may sound corny, but when I found love, when I met my girlfriend, man, it changed my fucking life.

I know what you're thinking, what you've been through, you may be reading this and you may be thinking that I'm just trying to cheer you up, but that's not the case, I want to let you know that I've been down that road before, you've tried to get back on your feet, exercise didn't do shit, mediation and "contacting your inner self" didn't do shit either, you feel like you've already tried everything, but my man, fucking believe me, life is fucking precious, don't just give up, you need to stand up and fight, swallow your shyness, just do it.

It's not easy, but I believe in you, yes, you read that right, I don't know you, but I understand you, I know you can do this.

Stay strong & Just do it.

Peace.

Big_TX · 2014-09-16T00:29:36+00:00

Have you ever drank? do not let alcohol become a crutch cuz that could lead to addiction and what not, but I would consider it if I was you. (iv never bean in your sues, but iv suffered from extreme stifling, and I found that if I get too stifled I can go drink, be social and get un stifled. then the next day I use the social momentum (tyler Durden talks about that a lot) from yesterday, and it helps bring me out of my funk.

so perhaps you could try and drink and be social, then the next day try being social sober, then keep up your social momentum.

the other thing Id try is try and go talk to people and do something ridiculous to see their reaction, to amuse your self. that way the part of your brain that is scared of you getting rejected will or not approved of wont inhibit you. then you can get comfortable with approaching people, and hopeful;y switch to approaching genuinely

do you take adderall or something? that shit made me nervis as fuck. I hat it. caffeine does that a little bit too. Id recomend cutting out stimulants, it may help

(i'm not a coach and heave never gone through what you did. this just seams like the logical exercises I would do if i was you.)

bboiabb · 2014-09-15T23:24:52+00:00

Bro, I was in the same boat. I'm still shy sometimes when it comes to telling a girl that i find her attractive, but i have no problem with small talk.

The main thing i realized is that everyone (and i really mean EVERYONE) is awkward and has their quirks. I go to college where I see a lot of people have conversations on campus on a daily basis. Sometimes I just people-watch and see how awkward people can be with their friends. Seeing that, made me know like i'm not an anomaly.

Another tip is to acknowledge what ever weird thing you did in the conversation.

example: i was talking to this girl I met, then we finished talking. We thought we were gonna go our separate ways... turns out we went the same way. So rather than be silent, i was like "don't you hate when you say your byes and still end up walking the same way" then we both laughed about it and finally went our separate ways after a while.

This sounds harsh but think of it this way. No one gives enough of a fuck about you to remember whatever awkward thing you did in conversation. In the tail end, you're the only one who remembers and are beating your self about it

subliminalsession · 2014-09-16T03:48:03+00:00

although i am a girl and our situations are perhaps a little different, i feel like i can understand how you have felt regarding confidence and self-esteem, self-worth, or lack of. with me, i was seeing a guy who really didn't care about me at all but i loved him, fell for him so hard, thought he was the best i could get when in reality, he treated me really badly and got with other women at the same time and i hung on to him because i thought i couldn't do any better. one day, recently in fact, he did something really fucking bad and i drew the line and said enough is enough, i looked in the mirror, like really fucking looked in it, for a good few minutes, but it felt like hours, and thought to myself 'you're better than this, you're going to leave his ass, you're going to go out, meet people, get a makeover, change your image, apply for new jobs, exercise harder, diet harder, disassociate yourself from him and other negative energies' and i swear to god i have never felt better, i've had interview offers, dates lined up, the works, since i started smiling instead of frowning, talking to people, applying myself to people and places, instead of sitting home crying about it, eating my feelings, and whatever. if i could give you one piece of advice that is solidly true: you may want ONE thing/person, but the reality is, you could have anything/anybody. you are a person. you deserve to live and love as much as any other person. don't ever let anybody's existence make you feel differently.

insidescoop84 · 2014-09-16T04:49:54+00:00

human beings, we're all shy, we all have fears, we're all afraid of lots of things, this is why we speak of the things that people do in terms of bravery and courageousness and not fearlessness. To be brave, to have courage, is not to do something without fear but rather to do something in spite of fear. So be brave, have courage, you can overcome your shyness even if you can't get rid of it.

And do power poses before you go out, and stand tall when you are out, because the same way that how you feel affects your body composure, your body composure has an effect on how you feel.

rising_son · 2014-09-16T20:29:57+00:00

Seems like your problem is not lack of knowledge about pickup/seduction but that of Social Anxiety. I dealt with this in the past, I got over it by cleaning my act up, exercising, dressing better, being well groomed. Practiced holding eye contact when talking to other people till I got comfortable with that, then moved onto meeting people's eyes in the street (men and women), then onto actual approaches/chat with people in stores, both customers and workers, people waiting for the bus... etc... it takes time but you can get over it. I did!

IpickupGrandmothers · 2014-09-17T00:36:17+00:00

It's not that you can't do it. Rather, you're making the choice to not do it. Make the choice to do it, and commit to that choice.

Yeah, I get that you're fucking pissed. But you know what? At the end of the day, the fact of the matter is that you'd rather go home and have a wank rather than talk to a girl. You still desire your comfort zone over self-improvement. Even if you're not consciously aware of it, that's what your actions are saying.

It's not that something external is blocking you. It ain't your shyness. You're simply not making the choice to do something about it, and committing to that choice.

SexySmexxy · 2014-09-17T12:20:08+00:00

Hopefully you see this because the problem is that you are lacking confidence and you are afraid of being out of your comfort zone.

Not to mention that by the sounds of it, your danger zone is growing!

You need to change your mindframe to that of, "it doesn't fucking matter what other people think".

It's extremely important because if you are letting random fucking people that you will never see again in your life dictate and rule your life then you will live your life as a shell of a person and never expand like a human being should.

Running and doing pushups is great and all but at the end of the day you just need to actually love your self.

You need to put yourself first in your thoughts and not give a fuck about what other people think.

Easier said than done sure, but honestly faking it till you make it is beautiful.

Try this.

Spend a week or even a day or two being the person that you WISH you were.

You wish you had a killer body? then walk like you did, make eye contact with the girls that the best version of you could just look at forever.

Talk to girls like you wish the best version of you talks to girls. Complete your schoolwork in the same way you wish that the best version of you completed your schoolwork.

Once you see how you feel after being the fake version of the best you, that will motivate you into becoming the real version of the best you and then you'll be unstoppable.

Big_TX · 2014-09-15T23:40:17+00:00

Are you on nofap? /r/nofap

Some people will say 'its just pseudoscience, it doesn't work'.

Personally, I used to agree, until I realised I just couldn't seem to get anywhere with confidence, just like you. So I tried it, just to see what happened. And you know what? I found it to be the life changing factor. If you manage to not masturbate for a week or 2, I can guarantee you will notice the difference in mental clarity, confidence, and the way girls actually start to notice you or even approach you. If you find you have trouble doing it, then you've got even more reason to do it :)

After about a 30 day streak, I took home a gorgeous asian girl who ended up being my girlfriend for a few months, until she had to go back to her country. She cried over having to leave me and said no one ever made her felt the way I did. So that's something I now know is possible, and motivation to keep up with the improvement, so I can make more girls say that sort of stuff about me!

Other things you haven't mentioned which are worth addressing - are you working out? Decent diet? Are you studying or have a job? If you aren't working out, I can guarantee that starting will make you feel a lot better. There's the endorphins from actually exercising, then there's the changes to your body. You just feel more manly and confident from that.

Title	Fucking hate myself
Author	hifriendbyfriend
Upvotes	5
Comments	16
Date	September 15, 2014 8:58 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2ghurp/fucking_hate_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fucking-hate-myself.1287205 https://theredarchive.com/post/1287205

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