I have been kind of lurker here but finally feel I needed to post something. I feel like the advice here is great. I feel like a more confident person by the various advice from books and posts that I have tried to implement.

The thing is I do feel like I am a catch. I hold down a good career job, I go to gym frequently, I am usually the best dressed guy in room. I guess my receding hair could be an issue for some but if a girl is worried about something like that I want nothing to do with her. So I really don’t think that is a problem because I really don’t care.

I guess my one issue is I am bit more of a reserved person. A tiny bit of an introvert. So I don’t approach often.

I really do love life and recently after my friend and roommate killed himself from depression and finding him I have a new sense on how fragile it is and love every minute of it. Despite the typical normal person blue days. It was that moment after some counseling for that event that I realized I am a strong person. That asking for help makes you stronger and not weaker.

The other problem is I don’t know how some of the advice that is on here can apply to me. I am of the Latter-Day Saint faith (or Mormon) and very active. Meaning I am not looking for premarital sex. So the topics on this sub that refer to that I generally don’t read because I have chosen not to do that till I am married.

Also typically meeting places on here like bars and the like don’t have people I am interested in starting a relationship with.

Also I am 31 so opportunities to meet people I feel decrease every year. So the only places I have to meet people is work and my congregation or as we call them wards. Which also in our church we have special congregations “YSA (young single adult) wards” age range 18-31 which btw I am technically aging out of. I now have the choice to go to a Mid-Singles Ward 31-45. Which I am leaning towards attending based off things getting stagnant where I am at now.

That’s the my first problem I am trying to find solutions for.

My second issue.

About over a year ago there was this one girl that I went on a couple dates with and I thought they went really well. After the second date she ghosted me and disappeared. Months later went paddle boarding with a group of people and she was there and I invited her into my board and we talked for hours. Later that night she was also at another party and she was sitting by herself and I saw opportunity to learn and ask her straight up what I did wrong. I asked about us she said I did nothing wrong it was more her trying to figure things out and “I don’t know” and I asked about the possibility of a third date and I she again said “I don’t know.” After that event I just wrote her off as she was wasting my time and forgot about her. That was months ago.

Now just recently she attended a lesson I was teaching at church after it was finished she came up to me gave me a hug and complimented me on my lesson. We got talking and she was telling me about things she was cooking I teasingly said “I don’t believe you can cook.” From that we set up a date to cook together on Friday. Also she invited me to something that day which ended up falling through so I suggested to just chill at her place. She texted her address later and I went over watched some movies and cuddled and held hands. That’s probably not a big deal for some but it was for me.

It was great day but I thought the entire time why the sudden turn? Either way it was a great day. Monday rolls around and she texts me and rescheduled the date to Thursday.

Now yesterday I get this text:

“Hey I realized that I might have lead you on with my actions on Sunday for that I apologize and I don’t think it’d be a good idea to have dinner together. I really did enjoy your lesson on Sunday though and I’ll see you around at church.”

I texted back saying I was disappointed but thanked her for telling me.

Honestly, I don’t want to waste my time with her anymore.

To sum it all up I ask these questions: I am not sure what I am supposed to learn from this recent experience and where to go from here?

Plus any advice for us religious older people on here on where to meet people?

I understand this is a learning process. I am confident that as I seek help I can work on myself and that a lasting relationship can happen and it’s not a question of if but when.

Thanks in advanced for your comments and your help!