I have a long history of oneitis that I am aware of and try to work against. I've gotten pretty good at moving on by just distancing myself from the person.

But what to do when it's a close friend (like possibly my best friend), and both she and her husband are part of a tight friend group that hangs out together constantly? And who all work together in highly specialized nonprofit work about which we are all passionate?

I've had a rough couple of years and she has been my most trusted and loyal friend through this. It just seems wrong, overly dramatic, and horribly beta to make some big decision that I have to cut her out of my life because I can't get over her. And logistically I don't even know how I'd do that without moving to a different city.

But at the same time it's really clear that the situation is bad for me. She and her husband were out of town for a few weeks, and during that time I was feeling better about myself than I had in a while. I felt like my inner game was moving in the right direction. When they got back I just got all screwed up again inside.

I'm sure I idealize her to some extent, but she really is an exceptional person and I find myself comparing all women I meet to her. It's hard to get myself interested in other people when she's around.

I think this is just all-around killing my game. Any suggestions appreciated!