Hey reddit, this is my first post here but I am an active member of this great group! Lately I’ve been finding some real good perks to going out alone that I would of never know if it wasn’t for this experience I’m about to share. I live in North Jersey about 20 mins away from NYC so there’s a large variety of clubs and women around my area (PM me if you’re in this area, could use more wings). Anyway, like everyone else, before I started going out alone I was afraid of going out alone and being the “weird guy at the club.” It was this one life changing experience that changed my whole perspective.

I was meeting with one of my wings around 12:30am on line for a bar in the Meatpacking District (very good bars here btw) but he was already tired from gaming earlier and wanted to go home. He pushed through and we did warm up sets until around 1:00am when he decided to leave so I was left alone. At first it was a little intimidating but then I realized how easy it was to do approaches when you don’t have the pressure of someone observing you or waiting on you. My game felt more open and free, I did 3 approaches that night. First was with a cute girl around my age group standing at the bar who seemed interested but I didn’t do enough to escalate so a number is all I got before she went back to her friend. Second one was an older woman who was dressed very nice, she was visiting from a western state (forgot which state) and was leaving in two days so although the vibe was good, logistically it didn’t make sense.

The third girl I approached was by the dance floor by herself and I began talking to her. She was gorgeous with a nice black leather dress. Quickly during the interaction her friend came and seemingly attempted to steal the spotlight, got in the middle of the conversation and introduced herself. I started talking to the second girl who interrupted red hair, blue eyes, pale skin (my weaknesses) and noticed her giving me more attention so I figured I’d go for the easier target. Throughout the night I stuck with them, got them to buy me drinks, at some points guys will talk to the redhead and I’d just talk to her friend about how her and whatever guy she was talking to would make a cute couple while her friend judged every guy who tried. After talking to some guys she’d come back to me and start kissing me and flirting whenever I suggested they’d make cute couples... she even started getting guys to buy me shots which I thought was fucking sick! I suggested to get food before the club closed so it wouldn’t seem desperate so we went to go get pizza with the redheads friend bringing along some Italian guy I’m guessing she was diggin. While at the pizzeria I continued showing confidence and value by talking to everyone, keeping everything cool even when other guys continued (and failed) to talk to the girl I was with.

Eventually without me saying anything the redhead suggested we go to their hotel to hang out so she calls an Uber and all 4 of us go towards the hotel. Once in there we drink a little more and I start intensely making out with redhead while her friend is doing her thing with the Italian guy. After kissing for a bit the redhead gets up and her friend and Italian guy leave, leaving us alone without me saying anything. We start going at it knowing what we’ve both wanted the whole night since we met.... until mid sex we hear a loud bang at the door. She puts on a shirt gets up and seemingly starts arguing with her friend while I’m in bed with no drawers haha. Next thing I know she walks in, goes under the covers and starts blowing me while her friend comes in with no Italian guy, takes off her dress and says “don’t mind me.” At this point I’m completely mind blown, wiggle my finger for her to come to bed and her friend joins us with what was probably the best night of my life.

After this I haven’t been afraid of going out alone and you shouldn’t either! Not every time I get this fortunate, last time I went out I only got numbers that all flaked but did meet some really cool dudes from the UK that I had a lot of fun with! The craziest part of that experience I’ve shared is that not once did they ask about my friends or if I’m alone. I have had people ask me other times I’ve gone out alone if I was there alone and I usually say my friend left early or he left with a girl. Usually hearing that most people are very welcoming and many times introduce you to their group. Our negative thoughts and feelings really pull us back from realizing that people are much friendlier than we think (ESPECIALLY IN NY). Everyone is there to have a good time and meet people and that’s what everyone should strive for when they go out; not get laid! Stop letting other people determine what success is for you or expecting things to go perfect. Going out alone you’ll realize that your vibe is the only one that matters and you can turn a seemingly awkward/boring night out into the best night of your life. I’m not really good at advice and I’m not a coach of any kind or some sort of god with women, I just try to do the basics confidently and I’m hoping to inspire some people to go out by themselves with this post because not having someone to go out with shouldn’t ever be an excuse, YOUR vibe is the only one that matters!