Had the first date, went well. Now what?

RedPosterboard · 2011-06-04T04:37:50+00:00

Brother,

the best advice I can give you is to keep things simple. I've been hacking away at learning dating and seduction for the last three years; in my experience, you've already done a lot of rookie mistakes.

You're taking her for dinner at an upscale restaurant, then minigolfing, and you're paying. You're willing to drive half an hour to go see her, instead of having her come to you. You're such a nice guy, so you don't try to kiss her on the first night.

Judging from your post and from how most guys tend to act around women, it sounds like what you've been doing so far is investing much more in her than she is in you, which by definition is bad when you want to seduce a women and stay away from the dreaded friend zone.

You're putting her on a pedestal and chasing her. When you're chasing a woman, you're giving her the power to say no. Wouldn't it be much better if the tables were turned, to make her the pursuer and put it on you to say yes or no?

Since you're fresh out of a long-term relationship AND posting on seddit, I'm making the assumption that you would like to improve your skills with women, and if you're anything like me, that you came from a position of having lower-than-average skills with women.

If you want to learn solid game and experiment with what works for you, you may not want to apply all the classic gaming stuff like push-pull, qualification, challenges, etc on this one particular girl who you are already invested in, because you'll be unfamiliar with how it works.

The advice that will work best for you at your level and in this situation is to develop a game plan for the next time you meet her. In order to get girls, you must lead them. Your best shot at getting this girl is to handle the logistics and know where to go at each step.

Since you're driving and will pick her up at her place you'll take her for a juice / coffee. Don't go for a movie at the cinema because you won't be able to talk.
Drive her back to a cafe not far from where you live. Ideally, sit next to her in the cafe. Make sure your thighs are touching when you're sitting down. Apply kino by taking her hand and compare hand-sizes, for example. Use strong eye contact, by holding eye contact 4-5 seconds at the time, but avoid staring, so look away once in a while. Strong eye contact is a sure killer for turning women on.
After an hour or so at the cafe, when you've got a great connection, say: "let's go back to my place and watch a movie / watch pictures of your recent travels". If she starts to object you must persist. Tell her it won't be long, that you have to get up early in the morning, and that you'll drive her back home. You're verbally leading her here.
In the car do some small-talking like it's no big deal, to put her at ease.
When at your place, sit with her on the couch / bed (whereever your TV is located), watch a little TV, talk with her, apply kino. Start with her hands again to move along an escalation ladder. I got some older posts on this, you can look them up.

Basically, plan every logistical step of the way, from meeting her to taking her to your place. You must try for at least a K-close. The longer you wait with closing, the slimmer your chances at getting the girl will be.

Good luck, and keep us updated!

Title	Had the first date, went well. Now what?
Author	brandonclyon
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	June 4, 2011 12:01 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hr5vj/had_the_first_date_went_well_now_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/had-the-first-date-went-well-now-what.1318989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1318989

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