Hey guys, in a bit of a down mood, trying to gather myself here. For the past 2 years I've been reading this sub and other self improvement resources, hoping to make the most out of my life. Over those two years, I've worked to make my life as great as possible. Dressing well, working out, gathering new experiences and skills- I delve into all of it every day. My life is full of amazing things.

Unfortunately, despite all of the initiative I've taken to better myself, I still can't force myself to get out and break social barriers with girls or popular kids at my school. It's pretty hard to admit that after all of this time chasing happiness I still can't force myself to share it. In Models I took to heart the idea of filling my life with great hobbies and events. Every day I think of sharing a great album with a partner, or hiking up a mountain with a group of brothers. All kinds of these activities have brought me momentary happiness, but I can't think of a single thing that would satisfy me more than sharing it.

Still, for over a year I haven't touched a girl, or broken into an ambitious social circle. I feel like there's something wrong with my psych. I had a spark at the start, but I can't gather myself to develop bonds with new people anymore, and as a result any of my new happiness feels fake, manufactured, and temporary. I had nine months to make friends at my new school, but now summer is here and I'm alone every day, keeping myself busy enough to not focus on how lonely things have gotten. I hate admitting that this is the case, but I can't lie about this anymore. I wasn't sure where to put this, but typing it out has helped me level my head a bit. Thanks if you've read this far, could use any motivation.