I am having trouble approaching girls at night at my college bar. There’s an outdoor scenery just for talking with benches, tables, and stage. The indoor is dark and typically for dancing. I love dancing, I love talking to people in general, and I am known to be the life of the party by many of my guy acquaintances there so I have good social proof. However, when I see a girl I find some interest in, I can’t seem to approach the right way.

I try to wait for them to show eye contact, and I’m learning to be patient and respectful so it is not like I’m pushing it or diverting her attention. Previously, I would tap a girl’s shoulder to approach and get her attention for a chat but it would always go so horribly so I have completely let go of that and decided to be patient and approach with the decency and confidence.

Tonight, I went out with the sole intent to talk to people and have fun since I felt good. When I got there, it took a long time to get in and I think out of the 5 girls I was talking to with no interest, one girl was really into talking about herself and as I was waiting, I didn’t mind. I got inside and tried to approach but girls were in their groups or talking to guys and I couldn’t interfere. I was being patient and make eye contact but that rarely happened, and if so, there wasn’t a good opening to start and go into a conversation. In the outdoor, I would go up to a girl group and just say hi but it didn’t go anywhere because they didn’t hear me, care enough, or just didn’t click. One girl I went up to, I told her “hey you look fantastic” and she said “no” and walked to which I didn’t care much, but yeah, I want to learn modern and decent ways to approach at a bar like this so I don’t feel doubtful and insecure. Sure, it’s easy to say to have the utmost confidence you can to go up and say “hi” but there are particular situations to go up and that’s what I’m curious about.

A little about me when it comes to talking to people: I am a decent communicator and I can talk about a lot of things, I can range from a spectrum going from playful to serious, and I am a good flirt and I can do it with anyone. I do tend to be clumsy with openers, but once I’m into a conversation, I am so in. It’s like magic. I am confident, I have good posture, and I always groom myself and take care of my hygiene. I used to have a lot of insecurities but I’ve been on a consistent process to being awesome and just being comfortable being myself albeit discovering myself as well.

All advice is appreciated.