I don’t use this sub often at all but I find it interesting to see what people have to say here. I used to be absolutely terrible with girls. Im always naturally drawn to the idea of breaking things down and understanding how they work to create a system to improve / find a solution to problems. I find this helpful in many aspects of my life.

Despite this, I have never found this helpful for anything involving social skills or talking to girls. Any time in my life where I have tried to establish certain rules or see it in a defined systematic way I have only made made it needlessly complicated and I find little benefit from it. I find general comments into the way things work in this aspect to be much more insightful, since they develop understanding and therefore will help without you actually thinking about them.

I think I am naturally good at making friends but this has never done me any favours with girls. I have improved drastically in talking to girls however, while I have tried to see things in various theoretical ways that I read about on these kind of communities, I don’t actually think they that have helped at all. The only thing that has helped me is experience. Constantly trying to improve and failing has naturally let me understand more about being successful with girls. When I fail with a girl, which over my life has been plenty of times, I will have gained more practice and will be able to understand more about the way things work. I can’t say for sure what my “method” is now, but there are certain things that I know work for me such as being casual / confident, being genuine seeming, looking respectable. Also showing the side of my life that is fun/interesting and ultimately attractive. I think it’s pretty simple, if you are a normal respectable social person with your own interests and your own life, then being able to show this to girls in a normal way will tick the boxes.

One of my big remaining issues is being too friendly seeming, yet I don’t think there is a major need for direct, sometimes desperate looking flirting strategies and “wit”, “alphaness” or whatever. At the end of the day this sub seems to miss the point that most girls want a genuine guy, and obviously specific interests will differ from girl to girl but attractive guys aren’t fucking aliens, they’re also normal dudes.