I'm reaching out because I've finally decided to change my life - hopefully for the better - and perhaps you all could help me. This may be a little lengthy, but the bottom line is: I want to get proficient at getting girls as a single man at 31. Simple as that.

My Background

Every single girl I ever got required no skill - or very little skill - on my part; they happened by chance. Sounds amazing right? Well, sure, until you discover at 31 that you've never actually became skilled at cold approaching women, dating around, getting rejected, etc. Now that I'm single at this age, getting laid or finding a girlfriend requires real skill, especially since my social life has faded in recent years.

My first two girlfriends in middle school and highschool happened because they somehow had a crush on me, and I had a crush on them. The girl I fucked while in college is probably the best example of me putting in effort - she worked at a gamestore, and it required me going in there frequently, playing in CoD tournaments, and other shit before I closed the deal. That turned into casual fucking for a few months. After that I went to college, but didn't get laid often (nor did I try). However, I did land a one night stand (my first and last so far). After that was a dry spell from 22-25 until I met my ex on Tinder - that relationship lasted four years. My last hookup was with a girl that slid into my DMs on IG, we fucked a few times but it was long distance so it didn't last.

My Problem

I have no system. I find myself to be pretty good at approaching women, especially if I'm "clicked on". It's very difficult for me to "click on", it's like I'm never in the mood to chase girls, and when I do it's always alone. The one night stand I mentioned above, and the game store girl, both happened because I had an unusual and intense burning attraction for both that completely allowed me to lower my inhibitions. I notice that whenever I get that sensation, it works out well for me.

I need a system. The issue is that I'm not great at night clubs or other super loud places people would typically go at night. I'm way more of a bar/brewery/winery/hookah lounge/etc type of guy - a place where plenty of people are that has the spirit of a party but isn't raging or super loud. I also notice I'm pretty good at operating in the day too - girls on walking paths or parks tend to be my primary targets in the rare times I'm "clicked on".

The other element of my problem is, as much as I love my best friends, they are nervous wrecks when it comes to girl (the ones that are still single at least). I love them, but I don't see them being good wing men and I prefer to work alone.

Another problem is living in a small town. I live about an hour outside NYC which isn't bad, but when we're talking about casually prowling around for girls, going to NYC for that is kind of rough especially since I already live an hour away and maintaining whatever relationship I spark would be difficult. The places around me are difficult too being as there's only so many different places I can go to find girls (although I don't live in like the country at least, so that's good)

My plan:

If you have read this far, thank you.

As of right now, my plan is to get back to grooming myself regularly and just dressing generally "nice" when I go out anywhere regardless of what the plan or task is. I'm going to delete Tinder and Bumble until I create a brand new profile for myself taking into consideration the strategies discussed here (down to the photos and the bio). I only have an instagram profile for business (I'm a popular content creator, and while that at first sounds like something some girls might find impressive, it's nerdy type of content and likely won't help me right off the bat), so my plan is to create a personal one and put effort into that as well. Get the social proofs, the nice professional photos, all that.

Luckily I'm not an ugly guy, though I'm not like a 10 either. However, I've been very lucky that the women I have dated and hooked up with are fucking drop dead gorgeous, like stunning....since they were into me a lot, I must be attractive enough to be able to do more with myself and other girls. I've noticed that my sense of humor is also something that goes over well with girls; I can always get them laughing. This can be dangerous though in that I don't want to come across as a goof, or too "friendly" without exuding sexual undertones.

TL;DR - LONG STORY SHORT

I never had to work hard to get girls in the past, so the few I've been with over the years have stunted my growth/ability to get girls at age 31 with a clean slate. What can I do right now at age 31 to increase my chances of a casual sex lifestyle? I'm not even against having a girlfriend, it's just that I never really had a casual sex lifestyle and I really want to at least give it a try before I have to settle down and have kids