Help with dating advice

DaygameCode · 2024-07-08T12:02:37+00:00

You need to go for the kiss urgently. It’s the third date and so far you have been acting like a best friend only instead of like a lover.

If you don’t go 100% for the kiss on the third date she will consider any future date as hangouts with her bestie and not dates with a lover.

That’s assuming she doesn’t already consider you as a bestie after being on two dates with nothing happening.

In order to go for the kiss when you are just you and her in a place without people around, you can say:

“You know when you smile like that, I am trying so hard not to kiss you right now” - This is better than saying can i kiss you, as it communicates desire which increases sexual tension and makes you come across as more masculine, whereas saying “can i kiss you” just seems like you are begging.

Her reaction verbal or non verbal will indicate if you ca go for it right after. Lack of reaction as in she is not saying anything but still looking at you not going away”, means you can go for a kiss too and you must not hesitate

You should ideally before saying that also done intimate physical escalation such as holding her hands, caressing them, and looking at her lips, with a cocky smile.

Let me repeat, that if she doesn’t see at all that you tried to go for a kiss by the third date she will friendzone you if she already hasn’t. If she has to move her head away and call you pu for trying to kiss her so be it, but you have to show her that you are a man (once and for all, and not just her bestie to go bowling.

Velvettouch89 · 2024-07-09T05:14:29+00:00

I'm going to offer a third point of view, the other two were very good.

Based on your post I infer that you are nervous, young, and inexperienced in more than just escalation.

What do you do after you escalate? What do you do after kissing? What do you do after sex? Do you have protection? Do you have a place to take her back to? What if she falls in love with you, are you ready for a relationship? What if you didn't want a relationship and just want to sleep around? What if you don't want a relationship with her, but eventually with a woman who checks all of the boxes you have? Do you know how to care for her emotionally after sex? Are you prepared for her ghosting you?

What kind of a woman do you want in your life? What kind of a life do you want to live? What kind of a person do you want to be? What kind of a woman would be good for the person I want to be?

I am a firm believer in asking these questions and figuring out who you are and what you want in life first before jumping into sex/a relationship with someone. There needs to be more thought put into this. I know, yes, there are a million possibilities that can occur, but you need to be thinking of the end game, not just the next step; this will help with your confidence and congruence as a person. DO NOT JUST DRIFT THROUGH LIFE! You choose your career, your friends, you should be very careful when choosing the women you let in your life.

I know by asking this question, you didn't know. But if you do not plan to think ahead, you'll be back here next week, "Guys she dumped me and she was the one and I didn't know what to do!" Or the opposite, "Guys, she argues with me all the time and I don't know how to leave her without getting my tires slashed".

You or others may say, "yeah, but at least he's in the field". Yeah, correct, but there's a time and place for it, didn't jump into the NFL because you kick ass at adult flag.

My advice: take it slow. Get comfortable first. I do not recommend you put all of your eggs into this basket. Go out with multiple women. Make friends with women, not just to sleep with them. Stop watching porn. Have hobbies. Work on one thing at a time, approach, holding a conversation, being comfortable, then work on the sexual stuff later.

Though my tone is aggressive, I am offering you free advice, I receive nothing from giving it to you and you can take it or leave it, I will not be insulted which ever choice you choose, and you are under no obligation to follow my advice

HOTSCHMALZ · 2024-07-08T13:20:14+00:00

Going to offer a different opinion here with the understanding that different strokes work for different folks (my 2 cents is just what has worked for me and I want to show that there's no real need to be sly or coy or cocky or indirect or cringe about it and also definitely no need to make your masculinity dependent on whether or not she sees you romantically or platonically:

I do agree that if there's no clear signal of attraction of some kind by the third date then it's probably time to address that, either by seeing if it can move in that direction or tbh just bringing it up. I have never gotten negative feedback by asking frank questions, at worst the person I'm dating has found it cute bc they thought it was obvious or at best they were into it bc I've shown them that I'm not doing the verbal communication equivalent of yawning and putting my arm around them. When in doubt, just ask her, "Hey are you into me?". Absolutely no shame in popping that question. Adults address the elephant in the room. Trying to interpret smoke signals is a sign of immaturity and a waste of your precious time and resources. I also doubt that you still want to be beating around the bush at later stages of whatever relationship you have with this woman.

It goes without saying that you should look for signs of attraction like holding hands, her holding your gaze, triangle method, her being in your private space on a lvl usually reserved for ppl who are interested in attracted to you (iykyk). If all those signs are there then asking that question is both flirtatious and also just simply asking for consent. Clear eyes full hearts can't lose.

If you want to you can absolutely ask the question "Can I kiss you?" without somehow turning it into some kind of make or break test for your manhood bwahahahah. I would say that in my experience asking that question was just a final check for me (just in case I misread everything up to that point or maybe she isn't ready) and/or a way to signal that I'd welcome/desire physical initimacy. Overthinking the question or trying to set up the perfect moment to pop the question is already putting you in the danger of fumbling. Being confident, direct and clear is it's own kind of sexy.

TRTGymBroXXX · 2024-07-08T15:26:47+00:00

Just stop dating. invite them over to your place and tell them you will get take out and they can bring a bottle of wine. You don’t need to do the whole courtship behavior and actually the more you do it, the more women will play hard to get and give you the runaround. Tell them what time it is and play by your own rules. If they don’t want to play, good riddance.

Title	Help with dating advice
Author	MysteriousWanderer99
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	July 8, 2024 11:22 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dy6fea/help_with_dating_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-with-dating-advice.1523623 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523623

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