Hi everyone - long time lurker, first time poster.

I came in to seduction and PUA at a very low point in my life about 6 years ago. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without it. I owe a lot of my success not only socially, but also professionally to the things I learned when I was studying and practicing game. I’ve been a little more tuned in than usually lately to the posts on the sub and inherent advice and I just want to get what’s in my head out after a great night out.

I no longer take advice, read in to, or practice anything related to traditional PUA game. I’m not saying I’m beyond it; I don’t think anyone is ever truly beyond the core teachings of this group. But I think once you’ve understood the fundamentals and the core message you no longer need to harp on the details.

To me the message and teaching that each and every one of you learn and develop from is very simple; embrace yourself. Understand yourself. Support yourself. Most importantly be true to yourself. By doing these things you learn to forgive yourself; both in the moment and for your past. You relinquish yourself of the pressures you’ve accumulated on yourself through life. Throughout this process there’s a single core fundamental that you grow in to; live life as who you are, in the moment, and to the fullest. It starts with challenging yourself to overcome anxiety and pressure going after the things you want in the moment; most importantly to this commute girls. But you learn to challenge yourself in every aspect of life. Why aren’t you doing more to better yourself in work? In school? Socially? With family? Learning to love growth is the ultimate benefit of the seduction journey.

When I started this journey I can imagine I was a lot alike most of the people that made it this far through my drunken blabbing. I was 20 years old. I fell in love with every attractive girl the moment she said “hi”. Our future together flashed before my eyes and I had already envisioned every fantasy between us I could dream of. By the time I could think to say hi back she’d be gone; leaving me heartbroken. Time and time again my heart would break before she even knew the impact she had on me. Finally I decided I had enough. I was going to supersede these whimsical desires. I’m the conquerer. I break the hearts around here.

I ended up here. I read every FR there was to read. I picked up the recommended library of books and engrained myself within the pages. I was working on building on myself every day. I embraced the attitude and the peacock within. I ran all the canned game I could find. Yet every time ended in the same; failure. I’d question myself, my words, my approach, my outfit, my muscles. In the end what it really came down to was depth. Everything I had done through his point was shallow. I had covered my insecurities with everything I thought would plug the next big hole. I was successful in my immediate goals. I made out with 9s after exchanging no more than 5 words. I had a girl I met at bar close bent over the hood of a jeep in the parking lot across the street without ever learning her name. I was on top of the world. So I thought.

With the highest highs, come the lowest lows. I couldn’t understand why girls disappeared as quick as they came when I was so successful in the moment. I figured out the secret sauce, right? WRONG. Every connection I developed through this point, both good and bad, had no substance. I didn’t truly expose myself. I didn’t let people in to my true self. I put up a facade. A very successful facade. And every moment was meaningless. My original goal of conquering the moment was accomplished. Yet I was no happier than the moment that drove me in to this.

I stopped practicing so much. I stopped reading social psychology and PUA books. I stopped running canned game. I couldn’t even bring myself to approach. But something changed. I started learning to love the connection.

Slowly I started approaching again, with the sole intent of listening to what a person had to share. By learning to love and understand others, I learned to love and understand myself. I continued the pursuit of growing myself in every facet I could. No longer with the intention that my growth would lead to women, but with the understanding that growing myself would lead to being happier with myself.

And then it all clicked. Everything I had learned and done to this point culminated into success without even realizing it. I learned how to be ridiculous and embrace MY moment without any social stigma. I forgot all my fears: socially and professionally. I learned to forgive myself. Forgive myself for not accomplishing more. Forgive myself for not being perfect. Forgive all the pressure I place on myself. And finally I learned to value myself. Value the effort I put in to growing myself. Valuing the accomplishments I had, big or small. I learned to stop hating myself. Most importantly I learned to embrace myself. To value my strengths, and forgive my weaknesses. To analyze each and every day what I can do to build on my weakness and turn them in to strengths. To love me.

Trying to plug the holes in yourselves with other peoples love and value will always lead to empty holes. Learn to love yourself; love your strengths, love your weaknesses. These are the things that make you, you. People want to love you. But if you’re busy valuing yourself based on the value others place on you, you’ll never love yourself. The love you have for yourself and the value you place how you live your life are the most important things you can have. Ultimately happiness is the best thing you can take to your grave. You’ll always have ups and downs, but the more you love yourself the more love you have to share with those around you.

Nowadays I don’t worry about gaming girls. I’m successful beyond my wildest dreams professionally (a lot of my success due to the social values I gained throughout this journey). I work on building myself every day. I go out to enjoy the moment and to love the people I surround myself with. I’ve had REAL relationships with girls, which was unheard of before this journey. I’ve been with NBA cheerleaders, supermodels, you name it. But today - the connections I care about the most transcend sex, looks and social stigmas. I care about the interpersonal connection. Making the most of the moment I’m in, with the person in with, to have as much fun as possible.

And I’ve never been happier.

Good luck to each of you while you pursue your personal journey. Nobody will take this journey for you. Make the most of it. Learn to love the journey and love yourself. The rest will come easy.