I've seen a few posts on here recently where the guy feels his dates have gone well...yet every time he gets the 'I only see you as a friend/I didn't feel the chemistry' text afterwards (or just gets ghosted).

Assuming she knew it was a date and you didn't pretend it was 'let's just get coffee as friends', it's reasonable to say there was a point she found you attractive. Or at the very least, saw potential in you to want to find out more.

So on the date, it's clear that you did something that made her think...

..."He's Not Man Enough For Me!"

Here's a checklist of mistakes you might be making.

1. You're Too Needy

In general on your dates, what is the energy of the interaction like? Specifically...are you trying harder to impress her or she trying harder to impress you?

I would guess that 90% of the time, this is the main problem. The guy is trying to be funny and flirty. He is saying clever things and attempting to be whatever it is he thinks she wants.

Meanwhile, she's sat there waiting for him to screw up so she can reject him and move on.

I'd be willing to bet I could sit across the room and watch your date and know which person is trying to impress the other one more - even without hearing the conversation. The body language, the energy...this is what you need to look at.

The big problem here is guys are going into dates thinking 'how can I impress her?' while girls are going into dates thinking 'let's see if this one is any good - I doubt it, but you never know'.

With that mentality, it doesn't matter what you say or do, because your entire energy will be needy. She will feel it and lose all attraction for you.

2. You Didn't Lead

Women in general want to feel safe and protected. They want to feel like even if a crazy axeman storms into the bar you're in, she's still safe because she's with you. You'll find some way to make it ok.

However, women usually feel like they are leading the way. They have to make all the decisions. They have to decide which bar to go to, where to sit, where to go next etc.

You don't need to go down the old school old-dimensional 'alpha male' pickup route here. You don't have to try and force your will on everyone.

But as I see it, I 'drive the car by default'. In other words, I'll decide where to go unless you have any strong objections. I'll suggest a bar, but if you hate it there I won't try and force you to go there. When we meet, I'll give the girl a big hug and say 'let's sit on those comfy sofas over there.' I don't say 'where would you like to sit?'

In general, she doesn't want to be the one making the decisions.

Because if you leave everything up to her, she will feel like you're scared of getting the decision wrong and her not liking you as a result. And how can she feel safe and protected by a man who is terrified of offending little ole her...how is he going to protect her from the world?

3. You Missed The Boat

I can't remember the last time I went on a first date and a kiss (or more) didn't happen (unless we genuinely didn't like each other).

Same as point number 2 - it's your job to lead. It's your job to see when she's interested in you, and create a situation where you can both kiss without it feeling awkward or forced.

This gets easier the more dates you go on, and the more times you make the move. But if you wait for her to make the move because you're scared of getting it wrong...again you come across as needy and desperate to impress, which kills all attraction.

So TL;DR...start going into dates with a 'let's see if we are compatible' mindset and genuinely being willing to WALK AWAY if she doesn't mean your standards of personality/character. Too many guys want to get laid so badly that they forgive all bad behaviour and just come off desperate and needy as a result.