HFA/Aspie bro advice?

Ts9588 · 2022-10-24T14:25:49+00:00

I was honestly just about to come on here and make a post somewhat related to what part of your problem may be. I've been in a similar position, can't speak on the HFA whatsoever, but used to be extremely extremely extremely introverted and shy, which led to my brain overthinking like crazy when I would be with women. Question, is this a repeated pattern really stressing you out/creating anxiousness? I was a virgin for a while and didn't branch out for a while mainly just because I was so stressed about meeting someone. And that whenever I did meet someone I put way too much on that one interaction and didn't just take a step back, relax, and realize there's nothing to worry about, approaching, talking/flirting with women is what we as men were genetically designed to do. There's nothing to be nervous/jittery about, not to mention, whatever you're most afraid of happening when approaching women almost never turns out to be what actually happens once you make the approach. Getting to the question, if you are feeling this way with a ton of stress and anxiety around women you may have just built a self inflicted mental block. If so, I found it extremely beneficial to see a therapist/psych and get on some anti-depressent/anti-anxiety meds and it boosted my confidence like crazy. A lot of people I've known before I started taking the meds and after say I'm like a completely different person (for the better), and my success with women has gone through the roof.

Puzzled_Nail_1962 · 2022-10-24T16:24:06+00:00

I don't have diagnosed Aspergers, but used to be shy, stiff and awkward, so maybe this can help you anyway. Also applies to any conversation really, not just women.

This goes against what most people will tell you, but start telling random stories about yourself. Doesn't matter how irrelevant or boring you think they are, as long as there's some connection to what you were talking about. And most importantly, add some emotion to it. Don't just say you went hiking last week, talk about how it made you feel. Why? Because whoever you're talking to presumably also wants to keep the conversation going, so give them some food to do it. The idea is to just metaphorically throw topics at them and see what sticks, give them a chance to ask questions and lead the conversation in a direction that interests them.

Example: "I went hiking in the mountains last week." Is boring and will kill most conversations unless they're really into it.

"I went hiking in the mountains last week because I love getting out of town and get some fresh air away from people and it reminded me of my home town." Really just fluff, but gives a ton of things to go on. Hiking, mountains, loud cities, where you are from, people being annonying, ... All the sudden you are relatable and anyone even semi interested can find a way to respond.

That's the first step. Observe how people react to it. You'll be surprised.

Second thing is making people talk more. How do you do that? Just repeat back what they just said. "I went hiking ..." - "Oh you went hiking?" invites them to talk more about it. Ideally combine it with emotions again. "Sounds relaxing" - all the sudden you're in deep talk about whatever they like to do to chill out. Repeat.

Once you're good at making basic conversation, that's when you want to start learning to flirt. You don't want to try running when you can't even walk yet.

Icy_Rub1839 · 2022-10-24T18:01:28+00:00

I have Asperger's myself.

The first step is to make yourself as physically attractive as you can. This will make it much easier.

What exactly do you struggle with? Dating in general or just trying to get laid?

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-10-24T19:03:34+00:00

Act cocky

MudProfit · 2022-10-24T19:27:58+00:00

As a fellow aspie, I've had much better success when I don't look like the typical aspie. First impressions are the longest-lasting impression after all. If you're crap at talking about anything other than your niche interests, listen to podcasts and watch stand-up comedy to get a feel for the rhythm of speech since like you most likely, I speak slow and in monotone.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-10-25T04:11:11+00:00

Make a lot of money. Woman love money not man.

Title	HFA/Aspie bro advice?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	12
Date	October 24, 2022 1:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ycbu61/hfaaspie_bro_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hfaaspie-bro-advice.1247788 https://theredarchive.com/post/1247788

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